Almost 2011!!!

Well this year has been full of fun and not so fun. To start off I got pregnant and was sicker then a dog New Years Eve last year. I was throwing up at midnight and not for the same reasons as others. Then Doug deployed again a week after Breckens birthday. Being pregnant with 2 kids and a husband deployed was not that fun. Especially since Brecken was so far behind and was doing the things a 6 month old could do. He actually just started rolling on his first birthday. Anyways it was a fun 6 months of therapy (speech, physical and occupational) for Brecken and with Taylor in dance and school, that was the hardest pregnancy of my life. Plus with the scares we had with Bailey...not so fun. However I did have a lot of help from family and friends. My mom actually flew out when I went in bleeding with Bailey (this scared us since we had lost our 2nd child in a miscarriage) and she was here for 3 weeks and I just remember it being the best 3 weeks I think I have ever had with her. We did not kill each other and I was pretty upset to see her go. I got through my pregnancy and Doug came home a couple weeks before he was supposed to because of another complication with Bailey. He made it a couple weeks before I had her. Then my mom came back out to help with kiddos and my mother in law was here to help after my c-section. I am so incredibly blessed with my moms!! They are always there when I need them! So this is when allllll the good started!

Bailey Ryan Levy was born August 9! She was my most favorite part of this last year. She is beautiful and getting so big already!! She is almost 5 months and has started rolling already. She cracks up at daddy and just thinks she is the funniest thing ever (she will play around when feeding which she thinks is hilarious but makes a mess).

Brecken is just getting into his 2s which is so up and down for him. He is wonderful and super cute some days but man there are days he is so stubborn and willful! That boy reminds me of me so much!! I am excited for his birthday next week. He is out of all therapy except speech. He is all boy but I am LOVING having a boy in the mix!!

Taylor is a kid now instead of my toddler. She is getting very tall like daddy and is incredibly smart however this comes with massive curiosity and a lot of questions. She is my saving grace. God knew what He was doing when He gave me that girl first. She is just a rock and surprisingly I find myself trying to be more like her. She is just so giving and kind. She gets mommy through all those tough deployments :)

Doug is still waiting on word for his MOS change. We are hoping to be moving soon over closer to family.

This year was amazing in learning for me about myself. I found that I enjoy couponing a lot!! I save us some moola!! I also am educating myself on health and we are really trying to change our eating habits and live a healthier lifestyle. Brecken is loving it but Taylor is fighting us a little. I have to keep reminding her that mommy did not get the skinny genes like she did. Lol. So far though I am feeling incredible! I am down 10 pounds already!!

I have also had incredible influences on my life this year. I have become very good friends with the other leaders from the mommies group we lead and I do not think I have ever had girls show me as much love as they have. I am constantly finding myself trying to learn from them in so many ways and I love them so much. It will really make me sad to leave them since I have never really had friends that were girls like them. They showed me that it is okay to love and be loved and that I am worth it. I am still working on it because I have never had people care about me like they have. I love you Cherry, Lisa, Jessica and Alison!! You guys are teaching me a lot and I am still a work in progress but you guys are great mentors for me to look up to!!

As you all know my dad passed unexpectedly last year and I have been in kind of a shock and not really knowing how to feel about it all since our relationship was rocky. I felt horribly guilty because when I found out, I felt a little relieved that I did not have to go through anymore of it. I did not have to try so hard or deal with his drinking or decide if I was gong to allow my kids around him. This last couple weeks I find myself missing him more then ever. I feel like it took a whole year to feel anything and now it is hitting me like a ton of bricks. I am not sure why it took so long but my heart aches for him a lot. I have dreams about him all the time and it just makes me miss him more. We did not have a perfect relationship but we were trying. He was really trying to be a dad even though some of the bad still seeped in but he was trying and I have realized many things I could have done differently to try and help.

So that is my year in a nutshell!! I am EXTREMELY excited for 2011 because we have a lot of life changing things coming up that I will talk about when I am more comfortable about them!! No I am not pregnant....lol....yet :)

Happy New Year!!!

Daddy is Cleaning?

Yes I have some ideas on how you can get daddy to help out!! So we will be doing this in my mommies group tomorrow as our tip however I am not sure I will be there so I figure I would blog about it. So here is my dirty secret. Doug did not like helping with the house at all!! Why? Because he is a guy? Because that is a womans job? NO! Because I wanted my house cleaned a certain way and if he did not do it right then he got yelled at. Who would want to work for a "boss" that was never happy? So he just flat out avoided it. I think he would rather just hear my snide comments about him not helping around the house then to get yelled at for helping but not in a "sufficient" way. Okay so first thing to do. Change Doug. He just needs to get better at cleaning right? Big buzzer noise. First what is clean in my eyes? Scrubbing until my fingers bled? Pretty much and if I did not see blood when Doug was cleaning then he did it wrong. So this is all before we had our oldest daughter Taylor. As the years went on and I got pregnant time after time and added more kids to the equation I started to desperately need Dougs help. I did not even care if he did it up to my standards! Just take a disinfectant wipe across it. So here was my (his but he probably won't read this:) brilliant idea. When I finally got off my high horse and decided that maybe my way of cleaning was not the only way then things started getting easier. I was still getting frustrated that Doug was not helping and by helping I mean cleaning an entire floor a day. I could do it so why couldn't he? Yeah that big buzzer sound again in my head. I have a feeling God is pushing that buzzer. Here are Gods exact words to me. HE IS NOT PROGRAMMED THAT WAY!!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! As my husband put it the other day you either get quality or quantity with him. Men are not great multi taskers which is not a bad thing!! I love that my husband gets his head wrapped around something and is so in the zone with that one thing that he does an awesome job at it! That my friends is why he is an AWESOME soldier, father and husband!! When he is in soldier mode, he gets the job done and right! When he is in dad mode the kids are the only thing he sees!! When he is in husband mode....well moving on ;) This is what a man is built to do. He thrives off of getting the respect that he deserves from a job well done. Woman on the other hand can do multiple things at once. God has programmed us that way. I wish sometimes He didn't. The other day I would paint a window in the kitchen and while it was drying I was cleaning, doing laundry and homework while also trying to feed Bailey every once in a while. Most of this on auto pilot. Yeah God did not equip Doug for helping with feeding Bailey which is a little frustrating. Haha. Anyways I could not tell you what my homework was because I did it so fast that I got nothing out of it. Yes I got a lot done but still felt like I got nowhere. I know you stay at home moms get that too. Anyways it is not a bad thing that we can do this but maybe we just need to slow down a bit. BACK TO MY IDEA!! or Dougs...whatever. So he said make a list and put it on the fridge where he can look at it daily. Then he said dumb it down! Instead of "clean the downstairs" put "dust the living room" or "sweep and mop the kitchen". Now let me tell you this worked fabulously!! He will go look at the list and yeah he is not cleaning the entire floor but I will see 3 or 4 things knocked off the list. In his mind it is too much to think "clean downstairs" because that entails dusting, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, wiping off counters, wiping down the glass and mirrors and much more. It just seemed like too much. So when I make it simple, he sees it as "vacuum the stairs" and no problem. That will take me 5 minutes. When he is done and he goes to mark it off he sees "dust the living room". Well that will only take 5 minutes so lets do that too! It really has worked and we are keeping the house clean!!
Now ladies. I am going to share a little tip that has made my marriage a lot happier. I used to think "Oh I will wait until he gets home and see if he can help me" but being a military wife, that is not always the case because he ain't comin home some nights. So I started looking at it as "I want him to spend as much time with me and the kids as possible so I will do this now". Now trust me I was there where I thought if I do all this he is going to think he gets to come home and sit there and do nothing and totally take advantage of me!! BIG surprise. He didn't!! I noticed when I ran out on errands or went to a girls night out, I would come home to laundry being done, house being cleaned and even dishes all done!! Now I thought...hmmm...this won't last. Well it has and it seems that me and my husband just kind of click with everything. So much more gets done around the house and we are so in sync right now it is nuts. There are days that he does sit and just want to sit and now I never get frustrated at this because my thought it "he helps alllll the time now so one day of sitting is not going to kill me" and I do not feel guilty when he walks in one day and I am on the couch just sitting and nothing got done. This whole situation is where I have truly seen the meaning of "married to your best friend". Do we still have our tiffs? Absolutely and anyone who doesn't is not in a marriage. They are in roommate status because roommates just exist together. Husband and wife thrive together! We have been together for 10 years now and I am more in love with that man then I was the day I said I do. We have grown and when we started living for each other instead of ourselves, that is where it started getting good! We have our not so great days and those are the days that we go to God and repent for being selfish and thinking of ourselves and we know we will both have many more of those days however once we first and foremost put God at the top of our list for the day and then each other, our marriage just started to soar and we can see it in our attitudes toward one another and in the kids and how they respond to us and to each other. God is good and He is leading us by example and we are trying to do that with our children and our lives have just been so much better since we have done this.
On another note we have also started doing morning family devotionals. I read a story out of the kids Bible and ask the kids questions on what they think about that. They ask some really good questions and by they I mean Taylor. I just want them to be able to know that that is a safe place for them to ask anything so we can biblicaly explain it to them. So many parents just tell their kids "because" and they never really know why things are the way they are and I really want that openness in my family so this has just started and I will let you all know how it goes! So far the kids and myself are loving it!!

Another little tip I forgot. Mamas...when it is 5 and he walks in the door you are not off work. Keep in mind he just got off work too so you both go from a full time job to your part time jobs and mom and dad. And it is not him doing 50% and you doing 50%. You both still need to be on 100% to each other and your kids.

Diaper Sale

Totally not sure if I got a great deal however we really needed diapers and this was where we could get the most for the cheapest for right now. Do not tell me I am wrong because you will make me feel bad about myself and that is not what Jesus would do :P

Okay to went to Target and here we go...

I got 2 boxes of 84 count of Huggies. They were $19.79 a piece. I had a manufacturer coupon for $2.50 off and another manufacturer coupon for $2 off. Then I had a Target coupon for $5 off. Plus they were giving $5 gift card for buying 2 boxes of Huggies. So after all that we paid $32.45 for 2 boxes of diapers plus we got a $5 gift card.

Then we bought a box of Huggies wipes, 448 count, 2 of the big Mayos and a small lemonade. I had a manufacturer coupon for the wipes for $2 off and a Target coupon for $1.50 off and then $1/2 Mayo coupon plus they were on sale. So it came to $14.98. We used the $5 gift card and then it came out to $9.98.

So what it all comes down to is we bought 2 boxes of Huggies diapers and got everything else for free:) Not too bad.

Coupon Virgin

So I had my first coupon fun today!! I was super excited. I am going to copy my friend Jennas outline:)

Walgreens

• (4) 16 oz. Nivea Mens Bodywash originally at $6ish (can't remember how much over that) would equal $24. Today they were 2/5 and I had a $3 off coupon so we got them for$7.
• (2)16 oz. Coffee Mate originally $2.69. Today they were B1G1 and I had a $1.50 coupon so I got them both for $1.19. However I had another coupon fr $1.50 off and it would not take it for some reason so I was expecting to actually be up .31. I did not want to argue with the kid so kinda bummed about that.
• This one is my favorite (3) 10 oz. cans of Cream of Chicken Soup which are originally $1.59 each. Today they were 2/$3. I had a manufacturers coupon for $1.50 and a store coupon for 3/$2.73 which brings it down to .41 a can:)

So with not knowing the price for the wash my total before coupons came out to $30.28 and I only paid $9.96. That is a $20.38 savings!! For my first time and not really knowing what I was doing I thought this was good!!

Now at the Commissary I did okay but just with regular coupons. Before coupons it was $14.93 and after it came out to $9.23. Only $5.70 but that will pay for childcare Tuesday night. Yay!! I am loving this couponing thing!!
And yes I got more Coffee Mate. It was $1.50 each and I had a $1.50 and .75 coupon so I only paid .75 for both which is awesome because I go through that faster then my coffee it seems.

Record Breaking

Yep thatt is what the heat is doing to us out here. Breaking all the records. Sooooo hot:(

Anyways we took Bailey in for her 2 month appointment yesterday! She is HUGE!! Her are her stats:)

• She is almost 13 pounds which puts her in the 96th percentile for weight! I have never had a baby this big.
• She is 25 inches long which is pretty normal.
  
• She has a little cold :(
• She got her shots yesterday and was NOT happy and daddy was the one to hold her down so I did not have to.

She is also smiling a lot and I LOVE her little smile!! She is sleeping 6 hours a night straight which is awesome for my sleep however my boobs have not caught up to that and I still wake up in the morning in pain because I am so full. I am loving nursing her! She is way easier then Taylor was. She is also starting to cry when I am not holding her and someone else is...even daddy. Although this is sad....it makes me a little happy because our other 2 will ditch me in a heartbeat for daddy.

Brecken my love is really starting to verbalize!! He says mama extremely well now and he still says cheese although it sounds like "eesth". That is kind of it on the words that I can tell he is saying. Still better then where he was and I am confident in the new direction his therapist has decided to go. She is really doing great with him! We had to cancel family pics because he got a black eye from nailing the couch. Poor baby. Boys will be boys.

Taylor is still doing her thing. She decided to be Alice in Wonderland for Halloween. Bailey is going to be a banana and Brecken a monkey. Taylor is excited and I am hoping my om gets out here for Halloween. Plus I bought tickets for Princess's on Ice so it will be just me and Taylor going to that!! We are really trying to spend alone time with her since we have Bailey plus Brecken still needing so much from us too. I think daddy is taking her on an ice cream date tonight. Just the 2 of them:)

Well that is it for now!

Getting in the Groove!!

I am doing it!! I finally have my routine down...ish with 3 kids. I am up and going at 5 a.m. which surprising has not been bad getting back into that. I get to shower and get ready and come downstairs and have a cup of coffee before all the kids wake up. Bailey will usually wake up at about 5:30ish to eat but then she is right back out. Then Brecken and Taylor usually wake up around 7. I get them ready and down eating breakfast while I eat with them. I am going to start doing a short devotional with them at breakfast once I get to the Christian bookstore to get some kids stuff. Then we are in the living room getting diapers changed and clothes and hair done. Then I usually get a couple minutes to run upstairs and clean up and make beds while the kids watch cartoons. I have just enough time then to feed Bailey one more time and change her in case she decides to go again:) Then we are off getting Taylor and on Mondays Brecken to school. This then gives me time to run my errands with only 1 or 2 kids. Sometimes I will meet Doug for lunch. Taylor is out by 1 and we are back home for naps by 1:30 and they get to sleep until 3. I have noticed if they over sleep they are way grouchier so I wake them by 3. In this little bit of time I do homework. Then we are all up at 3 and back downstairs. Outside if it is nice some days. The kids are awesome at entertaining each other so I get my 15 minutes of cleaning in and even some days 30 minutes (THANK YOU FLYLADY). I used to be one of those moms...well I will say girls since I did not have kids at the time, where I would clean every single week on Saturday and it was done perfectly!! No exceptions!! Then I had Taylor. I was still able to keep that up actually after her. I was a MASSIVE neat freak!! I would NOT be happy if Doug did anything wrong and it had to be done my way. Then Brecken showed up. Still did not do to bad with keeping up with the house. Then I got pregnant with Bailey. Yeah....my cleaning went from once a week to maybe once every 2 weeks if not every 3. Then I had Bailey...holy cow. With 3 kids trying to get my attention and none of them sleeping on the same schedule, 2 dogs driving me nuts, phone calls for the massive amounts of appointments I seem to be making, homework and being a good wife and cooking all 3 meals (and yes I pride myself to say that most days my kids have a huge breakfast since I am not sure how much they eat at school, lunches made for on the go and a cooked dinner on the table by 6 all with fresh fruits and veggies included) plus walking and Wii Fitting it to get my weight down so I can prepare for our fourth, cleaning was not on my priority list if I even had an option to put it on there. If you have multiple kids you KNOW what I am talking about. Everyday is CHAOS although in a really fun and fulfilling way. I swore up and down when I had kids I would never stray off of my cleaning schedule. HAHAHAHA!! Boy did I have a rude awakening and when I hear other young mamas swear to this too, it makes me giggle a little. Anyways I started letting Doug take over some of it and I did not care how he did it. I started giving Taylor small things to do. I also started letting myself off the hook for not getting things done on a schedule and relaxed a little. I started doing this when Taylor walked in and said "Mommy, are you ever going to be done cleaning and come and play with us?" It was then I realized my priorities were way off. I still love having a clean house but I only take 15-30 minutes a day now to do it. So back to schedule...after cleaning I start to cook around 5 in which I put Brecken and Taylor at the table to do a craft or color. Dinner is on at 6. After we go for a walk weather permitting and then baths and bed for kids. FINALLY by 8 Doug and I are finishing picking up the house and getting ready for bed. We get to sit and watch an adult show (not the naughty kinds you pervs...just ones that our kids cannot watch) or talk or whatever! We try to be asleep by 10 since we start all over the next morning. One thing is we do not have a day where we do not have something so we are trying to go to the Thursday night services instead of Sunday morning so that we can at least have a day off. Anyways again complete chaos but I am loving it!!
Bailey is 7 weeks has started only waking up once a night if that! She is now in her room with Taylor which has been awesome!!


Taylor is still in soccer and doing GREAT!! She made 4 goals last week. Brecken is being Brecken. He is going through his defying mommy and daddy stage but he has been responding awesome to discipline and is really starting to listen when we tell him something. He is such a great kid! We are just so blessed with everything and I am seriously loving this time in my life. Although I am starting to feel old. When I had 2 kids people would say I did not look old enough to have 2. Now when I tell people I have 3 kids they look at me and say they thought I had 4. Eh I guess being old can be fun. Senior discounts coming my way!!

5 weeks!!

My baby girl is five weeks old today. We had her one month check up last week and she is doing great!! She is 10 pounds already!! My other kids did not hit 10 pounds until 3 months old so she is a chunk. She is 21 inches. She is cooing and ooooing and aaaaaing. She has started smiling and she can now focus on our faces. She still eats all the time at night and during the day. We are going to try to attempt to put her in her crib in her room soon. She is just the sweetest little baby girl! I am so in love with her. Doug loves when she makes the Cherrios face. A lot of you probably know what I am talking about. When they open their eyes real big and make their mouth into an O like they are whistling. Well so far I am just loving snuggling another little Levy.

CHEESE!!!

YES!! That is my sons first word!! I handed him a string cheese and he looked at it and said "Cheese!". I turned around and asked him what he said and he showed me the cheese and said "Cheese!". He is 20 months old and this is just now his first word!! I was so excited!! He has been in speech therapy forever it seems. I never really pushed him to talk since his sister definitely does enough of it and I always figure my kids will do what they want when they want. He has needed a little help but he is doing great now!! I was a little nervous Bailey would talk before him. Usually he just grunts and points cave man style. I cannot believe in 4 months he will be 2. He is growing up so much faster then Taylor did. Anyways I am loving the walking so now I do not carry him around. Although directing him in the right direction is a challenge. He is a massive cuddler too. He curls up with me and just hugs on me all the time which Taylor never did. He LOVES his baby sister. He is constantly hugging her and bringing her a blanket and her binki. He is so freaking cute with her!! He loves his older sister too although he shows his love for her by tackling her or if she is laying on the ground he will run up and body slam her. Boys. He is always so sad when she is at school:( Anyways that is my gist on Brecken.

Life as Five

So this last couple weeks has been awesome in so many ways!! Bailey has fit in perfectly into our family. We had her 2 week check up today and she is now 8 lbs 15.5 ounces. She shrunk. She measured at 19.9 inches. She is still all healthy and happy! She feeds all the time. Every 2-3 hours which has been hard at night but we are getting through it. Especially when we have to get up with the other kids the next day. Brecken is not longer in physical therapy!! He is only in speech now and they would like him to start going 2 days a week so we are trying to get that worked out. He is in his toddler bed which has been awesome!! He has only fallen out once and he slept through it. Taylor is very excited to have Baileys crib in her room although Bailey is not in there yet. Doug still has a couple weeks off and then we get slammed. As soon as he goes back to work, the kids go back to school. Plus we start soccer! I am excited for that:) Life is going fast! I am just trying to hang on tight! I am healing great and feel mostly back to normal! I love being able to sleep laying down again and being able to drive without a huge belly has been great! I am just loving this time in my life. Being a family of five is crazy and all over the place but it is all in a great crazy way! God is so very good:)

Bailey Ryan Levy

Bailey Ryan Levy was born August 9th at 11:36 a.m. She weighed in at 7 pounds and 11 ounces and at 20 inches long. She has a little blonde peach fuzz. She is so beautiful and I love her so much already and the kids both love her so much! I will put more up when I have 5 minutes without one kid wanting attention!

Massively Massive!!

38 weeks pregnant and very very large. I am exhausted and uncomfortable and just ready for Bailey to vacate the premises. I go in to meet with my surgeon today. I hear he is really short and will need a stool to do the surgery. Haha. So far we are still scheduled for the 9th of August. I am ready to see this girl!! I have been having contractions but nothing consistent. They hurt though! I must admit I am glad I do not have to go through full blown labor anymore. That was the most painful thing I have EVER experienced with Taylor. It seriously felt like a human was trying to rip their way out of my body. Anyways we meet with Dr. Troung today and then next week we are full pre op appointments and monitoring Bailey to make sure she is ready to meet the world!! I am hoping I at least make it through Girls Night Out Sunday night. Even if I go into labor I may just tough it out until I get back. Lol. Just like Pam on The Office. I will post more info when we get back from the appointment today:)

Soooo ready!!!

I am 37 weeks today and done. I know we all say this at this point in our pregnancies and I do not want to hear "Enjoy the sleep while it lasts" or any mumbo jumbo like that! Blah blah blah. I am tired because I DO NOT sleep because my body hurts so bad I cannot get into a comfortable position thanks to her being transverse. I CANNOT take naps because my husband still has to work so I am taking care of my other lovely children. I am bored out the woo hoo because I cannot do much while being so freaking big. You should have just seen me trying to clean the mirrors above the sinks. HAHA. I WANT HER OUT!! I also would like my very nice drugs. OUCH!! Just as I said that she nailed me in the ribs. NOT NICE CHILD!!

Okay cool...done with that. On a more serious note, I am just very tired of not being able to lay down to sleep. I have had to sit up since about 14 weeks because of her being on my sciatic nerve. The only way I do not hurt is sitting straight up without moving from side to side. My rump is sooo raw right now and I am very surprised I do not have bed sores. Other than that it is not so bad. I just have my melt down moments:)

3 more weeks!!

Oh the sweet words of the doctor telling me when they will pull this baby girl out!! We went in yesterday and the doctor (YES!! Actual doctor instead of nurse or midwife!) checked my cervix and said I am still at 1 cm but I am softening up a lot. She asked if I always have big babies because she said this on felt large. I also had all my restrictions lifted since I am allowed to go into labor now!! So we went in to schedule our c-section and the earliest I could do it was the 5th of August. However they were booked that day and she said that her husband could actually do the surgery on the 9th if I wanted and I could call later and see if I could get in on the 5th if one of the other girls went into labor. I told her the 9th was fine and I was okay with just waiting an extra couple days. You start to realize how much sleep you will not get with the 3rd so a couple more days in the belly is actually a good thing. Plus all my kids have been born on Mondays and so having another Monday will help me remember that although that is not really important unless I am on a game show that promises me a million dollars for knowing that. Anywho we are scheduled for 8-9-10!! I meet with all my peeps (surgeons and their team) the next couple weeks to prepare to get this girl out!! I am really excited yet scared. It is crazy enough juggling 2 kids. I am going to go insane with 3. YAY!!

Daddys Home!!

Yep. Doug got home Saturday and it has been so nice. We had a nice long weekend and today he is going back to in process and all that good stuff. Taylor and Brecken have LOVED having daddy home. I was actually very pleasantly surprised that he went to Doug as quickly as he did!! He knew exactly who he was! Mommy is very thankful daddy is the human jungle gym instead of mommy. Especially since little Bailey seems to think I am an amusement park on the inside. So we are sitting here and just waiting this little girl out right now. I am still in pain but not even close to as bad as I was. Doug still has to haul Brecken around as much as possible. I am hating the not being able to drive part and I was going to ask the doctor this week if maybe I could start driving again since I am not in as much pain but it would be pointless since I would have to take Brecken. 4 more long weeks. I do not like being stuck. I am hoping she takes after big sister and shows up 3 weeks early:)

Dislike dislike dislike!!

So the last couple of days have been interesting. I have friends taking turns staying with me until Doug gets home and they are truly a God send! I am very blessed. I just wish I could get back to normal. I dislike hurting this bad and I am tired of sitting on the couch not able to move. While I am sitting I actually feel pretty good but as soon as I stand up, I am in pain again. If she has a moment where she wants to make a big movement then I am really hurting. She did move up a little so the pain is in a different area but still intense. I feel like someone took a baseball bat to my right side. I keep expecting to pull my shirt up and see a massive bruise on my side. Anyways Lisa took the morning shift and Alison took the afternoon and Lisa is coming back for the night shift. Tomorrow Brecken has a doctors appointment that he cannot miss so either Lisa or Alison will go with me and the other will watch all the kids and then back for more shifts of watching Jen on the couch. I seriously hate having this happen but I am SO extremely grateful for my friends who are willing to take care of me and the kids while we get through this!! I never knew I had such awesome back up with my friends or in Dougs unit. The girls in his unit are being awesome and they are taking on some shifts as well. Serious blessing that this happened with these people in my lives!! If I was not trying to hold back tears because of the pain, I would be holding back tears because of the support we are getting. Well hopefully Doug will be home soon!

Of course this child!!

So I cannot move a whole lot which leaves me to blog:) I woke up this morning at 2:30 thinking "Wow this pain is a lot like labor." So I chugged some water, grabbed 15 more pillows and tried to get comfy because of course I am only 35 weeks pregnant and labor would not happen. About 4:30 I finally fell asleep again. Thank God Brecken slept in until 7 so I got up and hit the floor. Yeah that was painful. I kept thinking "This really does feel like labor". However the pain was more on the right side then the left so that can't be right. So I get up sorta and tried a shower. I get ready and realize this pain is not leaving so I call myself a Lisa and have her come over to watch the kids. I start to feel a little better so I start thinking I can go to mommies group and wait it out to see if it goes away. Until I double over in the kitchen. Okay so I am off to the hospital and as smart as I am I drive myself there. I get there and get myself upstairs with a couple people stopping me to ask if I need help. Nope...I rock. I do not need help. So I get up there and they hook me up and I am just sitting there. Finally the doctor comes in and says everything looks good on the monitors so she will just check me real quick. So she does her thing and she looks a tad shocked. "How far are you?" I tell her almost 35 weeks. She tells me I am 1 cm. Seriously? The one kid Doug is gone for? So she wants to see where this baby is exactly so she runs to get an ultrasound machine. Babys head is down by my right leg and her butt is under my left boob. Apparently she tried to flip and since my pelvis is so small she was not able to wedge her head in my pelvis but into my leg and that is what is causing contractions and the intense pain. So we know a VBA2C is out of the question. Since this is the 3rd baby who has not been able to get into my pelvis we now know why I have not been able to give birth naturally. So she tells me to go home and lay down and not pick up anything heavy or strain myself. Wait, you mean that 20 some pounder I got at home that does not walk up the stairs to his room? In which she informs me to have my husband do the heavy lifting. You mean the deployed husband? Then she informs me that it would be a really good idea to either get him home or find someone to stay with me until he gets home. So I am sitting on the couch in pain because of my daughters head. We are trying to get Doug home or his mom out here. I am not good at not being able to take care of my own life so asking for help always sucks for me. Like I said...of course this child.

So close yet so far!!

Here is the gist of the week! I am 34 weeks preggo with little miss Bailey. She is really starting to hurt me. Last night I woke up twice and almost thought I was in labor. She should be around 5 lbs and is kicking and wiggling so much that mommy has not figured out why I have not busted open.

Brecken had his occupational evaluation last week and she came to give me the results today. He is done with OT!! He will be 18 months on Monday and he is doing things at a 20 month level!! So now he is just in speech therapy and physical therapy. He is very very close to walking on his own and his speech is still not there as much however he started saying "more". I never realized how hard it was for him to talk until I heard him try and say "more". He really is having a hard time forming the words and yet he tries so hard. It makes me cry to see him struggle so hard with it. He is signing a lot though! He says more and please and thank you and all done. We are working on your welcome now.

Taylor of course is doing her thing. She is really helping Brecken with his signing which is great because she is learning it as well. She is very excited for daddy to get home. We told her at the beginning of August however he will be home a couple weeks earlier. I am really excited to see her reaction. I am now working on her not sneaking in our bed at night. I wake up and she is there.

Doug will be home soon and we are praying that he gets this job and that this could be his last deployment! He will still be in the Army. He will just have a new MOS that does not deploy if at all, very little. Although he will TDY a lot but I am all for that over deployments.

Next week we have Breckens 18 month appointment and we are going to get him in to a ear nose and throat doctor to see what is going on with his breathing. The week after I have my 36 week check up to see how hard I have to fight to have a VBA2C. Praying for Gods wisdom and guidance on that! The week after that we have a Urology appointment to make sure Breckens lump in his groin is still gone and has not returned and then daddy will be home!! Then we will be looking forward to Bailey joining us. Pretty exciting month!!

Baileys Diaper Shower

So Bailey had her diaper shower yesterday. Of course she got a ton of diapers! Just what mommy wanted. It was a lot of fun. Diann throws great parties. Good food and games. Plus the kids were playing hard so that wore them out for last night. Having the shower just got me really excited for Bailey! It will not be long until she is out!! Taylor was a little confused and thought Bailey would be out and there. She was a little sad when I told her there was still about 6 more weeks. She is so excited:) Other than that I am seriously just loving life!! I cannot wait until the end of July! Brecken is just getting to be so much fun too!! I was wondering about him since he started getting grouchy for a couple days and I had remembered that this was my favorite age with Taylor. I was hoping he was just teething. Luckily he is out of the grouch and in a fun mood most of the time. He loves the tickle game. I tell him I am going to get him an he runs away laughing and then I pretend I am sleeping and he sneaks back up to me. Doug is going to have so much fun with these kids when he gets home. Anyways so far so good and we have many more busy weekends this month so it should go fast!!

33 weeks!!!

Today I am 33 weeks pregnant!! This girl is all over the place and she is getting very heavy!! I am ready to get on with the last of it and have her in my arms. We have had a ton of exciting things going on. Doug will be home by this time next month!! They have scheduled his flight so we are on the countdown!! Then a couple weeks after that we will be welcoming Bailey into the family. Doug is also getting all his stuff together to reclass! This will put him at another base and hopefully closer to home plus he should not be deploying as much if at all with this specific job. We should be out of here by this time next year. If not then we will at least know when we will be out of here. I am excited to move on and do something different. Meet new people and have new experiences! Doug would have to go through another AIT however we would just move to Colorado and be with family for that. I am just very excited for where God is taking our lives and our growing family!!

To VBA2C or not to VBA2C?

Yes I am 31 weeks today and I have decided to push for a VBA2C. I meet with the doctors next month to discuss this. It may not happen but I am trying. I went in for my appointment yesterday and I am measuring at 34 weeks which is normal for me. I also lost 2 more pounds which is also normal for me. I am also Anemic....again. Yay!! Not a shocker for me. I had this on and off since I was little because when I was little I was diagnosed with Hereditary Elliptocytosis (Ovalocytosis) which is where you red blood cells are oval instead of round and they are not as flexible so they die off faster which in turn makes you anemic. Bet that was a fun fact you did not know about me:) It has never been serious in my case. I just go get my iron checked every 3 months when anemic and every 6 when I am doing good and take an iron pill. Other than that the baby looked good and all my other blood work came back normal. Very exciting stuff knowing we will soon have another baby girl!! Well that is it and I will keep us all updated on the VBA2C situation!

30 Weeks!!

Well I will be 30 weeks tomorrow. Anyways Bailey is moving all around. Taylor is really able to feel her kick now. I feel pretty good for third trimester. It is getting a little annoying with my belly always in the way. Trying to squeeze through places is not happening at all. I keep underestimating how big I am and then I nail my belly against something. Luckily Bailey has some padding:) I am getting really excited!! She will be here soon!! I just reconfigured our mini van so that Taylor is in the back seat since she now knows how to buckle herself in and Brecken and Bailey will be in the 2nd row. We have an 8 passenger van so I removed one of the seats. Probably not a good idea when 30 weeks pregnant but when there is no hubby to be found, whatcha gonna do? It worked out pretty nicely. I figure I would get it ready since I am carpooling to the beach and we need to fit another kid in there anyways. I know this next 10 weeks will fly by and I figure I need to get things done while I have energy and since she is only 3 poundsish and I usually have 8 pound babies...I will be getting bigger. The good news is I still have not gained a pound since I found out I was pregnant!! This is very good for me since I started out heavy. Hopefully I will lose a ton of weight with this baby just like I did with Brecken.

Ah now Brecken. He is doing sign language now!! Still not talking but he signs. I am really excited that he can finally tell me certain things! He knows the signs for more, all done and bye bye. I am still hoping he starts walking soon although he is so close. He walks across the room with one hand on his walker and he is not even putting pressure on it so I know he could if he tried but I am letting him go at his own pace. He does say mama but that is usually when he is really mad and wants me. He is just doing so great in everything. I love that little guy! My only little man...for now:)

Taylor has actually been the one teaching him everything. Brecken has been pointing to his body parts when we ask him to point to something and I was trying to show his speech therapist and he would not do it for her or for me. Taylor walked up and asked him and he did it right away. She has been working with him more since he listens to her more then me. I am so proud of her and how big she is getting. She loves helping him. He would not touch a ball his occupational therapist had but as soon as Taylor told him it was okay and handed it to him he took it. He really looks up to her. I love it. She has been such a big help. She has been asking if I will teach her how to change diapers so we are working on that now. I figure that is a talent that will come in very handy:) I am very excited to give her a little sister because I know she is going to be such a great influence on her just like she is on Brecken.

Doug should be home soon!! We still have a couple months but it is getting closer!! I am really excited for him to see the kids and how much they have both grown in just 6 months. I hope he is okay with how much I have grown too:) I would say that soon my life will be complete but no matter where we are, together or apart, I always feel like I am complete. God has really blessed me beyond my dreams so there really is not incomplete as long as I am married to Doug and holding my babies:)

Memorial Day!!

Yes a day early but I never know when I am going to get a free minute to write. So Happy Memorial Day to everybody!! Remember why you get this three day weekend. I want to thank all the soldiers that have died for our freedoms and given their lives so we can enjoy ours. There is a special place in heaven for them.
We will be spending the weekend as a family minus one. I am sad that Doug will not be here but excited to spend the weekend doing NOTHING with my kids but enjoying them. It has been a while since we have not had to be anywhere. I am 29 weeks pregnant and feeling pretty good!! Brecken and I got whatever my mom had but luckily Taylor escaped without it. Brecken is feeling better other than trying to bust those molars out. I still am a little iffy but I am feeling better then a couple days ago. I cleaned downstairs today to try to get all the sicky germs out and it is nice to have a clean downstairs. With being big and having the kids home all the time without school, cleaning may be a rarity. I passed my 3 hour GTT!! Yay!! Other than that just enjoying being me and loving my kids and getting really excited that Doug will be home soon enough!! Then this little girl will be out to love on. Plus we are looking to make some changes in our lives. Can't say much now but I am really excited for this next chapter in our lives!!

Third Trimester!!

Yes! I am in the last trimester!! It is hard to believe that I am already 28 weeks. Although this pregnancy did not go as fast as Breckens but I think that was because I knew Doug was leaving so I was okay staying pregnant with him. Although he is a lot cuter on the outside:) Anyways Bailey is starting to get to the point where instead of kicks and punches it is rolling over and knocking the air out of me. She is the mover out of all three kids so far! She is all over the place a lot more then the other 2 were and she moves for longer periods of time. Brecken and Taylor would wear out after about 20 minutes. This girl goes for about an hour and a half. So the next couple weeks are going to be full of fun stuff for baby. We should be making my c-section appointment in the next month or so...scheduling it not actually doing it. I will be having a diaper shower too. I also did my GTT and I am hoping I pass so I do not have to go to the 3 hour one. I am going to be researching birth controls extensively! I really do not like the side effects of most of them and my mom and grandma had uterine fibroids so that cuts out all the ones that have fibroids as a side effect which is most. Doug and I have discussed it and if we show up pregnant because of a failed birth control, we are very okay with that. We want more children and know God is in control whether we try or not. However that being said. I need my body back for a couple years. I am exhausted and sore and yeah....I need a minute to catch my breathe. I have loved having all my kids but being pregnant is getting kind of old. If all goes according to plan we will let it go again when Bailey is around 2. This 19 months apart is way too hard. It may be for some people but I don't think it is for me. I am liking the 2 years apart thing. So anyways yay!! Bailey is growing and I am falling in love with her already. I am not sure if moms can relate but having Taylor and Brecken was so surreal and I could not see us having one kid much less two that it took me a while to get the idea down about being a mommy. I don't want to say I was not in love with them right away but more in love with the idea of them I guess. I know...that all came out wrong because how could you not totally fall in love with them and I am wholly in love with them now. Bailey is just not as surreal to me. I could see us having her and her being in our family. Maybe it is because I just had Brecken not too long before we got pregnant with Bailey. Anyways babble babble. I cannot wait until this girl joins our family! A family of five....who woulda thunk. Plus Doug will be home for a while too!!
Now on to Doug. Yes he should be here in the very most of the most of the mostes....in 12 weeks. That is when Bailey is due so he should be here for that. I am really excited to have him home. The kids miss him and I miss him and we have not seen each other a whole lot in the last couple years. He is going through some options to see what he can do that will keep him here for at least 2 years if not more. We will see. I would love for him to see Bailey do some of the firsts that he has missed with Taylor and Brecken.
Anyways I feel good so far!! The third trimester is my favorite with Bailey! The only thing I have had problems with is breathing. Better then how bad I hurt the first and second trimester. I am so excited for these months to fly by!!

27 and 27!

I am 27 weeks pregnant and 27 years old! Yeah I am easily entertained. So today I turned the big 27. I feel smarter and more mature. Yeah....well I do feel bigger anyways. Only 3 more years until...well we will not talk about that. I took the kids to school and tried to come home and relax but I am nesting so bad!! I was so antsy and cleaned and did laundry instead. Tonight Taylor has her last dance class. They only have a week and a half of school left. I am sad that I will not have those mornings to grocery shop or run errands but I am really looking forward to relaxing and just playing with the kids at the same time. After they get out of school it should only be about 6 weeks before Doug gets home :) My mom is coming out for Taylors dance recital this weekend so that will be nice to have some help for a couple days. Anyways Happy Birthday to me!! I get more brilliant every year!!

Taylors Birthday Party!!

So yesterday we had Taylors birthday party and I thought it turned out pretty good for pulling it together on my own while prego with 2 little ones! Although I do need to give some credit to Jess. She helped out:) I am super bummed we had to have another birthday party without daddy but hopefully this will be the last one he misses for a while. Taylor said it was the best birthday party ever and that made me feel really great about it. I always feel a little insufficient when daddy is not here. Anyways she got a bunch of great (and noisy) gifts. Of course the noisy ones are her favorite. The cake turned out pretty good although there was like an inch of frosting on top. We got some good pictures and I had enough food left over for today so i do not have to cook! Always a plus. It really was a great day and I enjoyed it a lot too. Thanks to everybody who came! I cannot believe I have a 4 year old now. She has grown so much and I love her more everyday. I cannot wait to see her with a little sister. I already know she is awesome with a little brother. I love that girl!!

Taylor Jordan Levy

4 years ago on Mothers Day (May 14th) I went into the hospital knowing I would hold my baby girl soon. After 16 hours of labor and no Taylor in sight (and no working drugs) we decided to have a c-section. After another couple hours and a very rough c-section I held the most beautiful little girl in my arms. She had her daddys eyes and her mamas nose. I was then that I knew exactly why God had put me on this earth and what I was born to do. I was here to be her mommy and to love her with all I had and more. I knew then that my life was going to turn upside down and any other way that it could. To share something like Taylor with my husband also put us on a whole new level as husband and wife. We were connected in a way that only she and her siblings could connect us. We were now mommy and daddy and not just Jen and Doug. She is the 2nd person in my life I have fallen in love with. Taylor you are so beautiful inside and out and your spirit is one of a kind. You truly know how to light up a room. Your personality shines and makes others love you from the moment they meet you. I love you so incredibly much and I wish I could explain the love I feel for you but I know you will not understand until you hold your own daughter in your arms for the very first time. I know many mothers tell their kids that they hope they have a kid just like them sometimes but Taylor, this would be a blessing for you if you ever got to experience the joy of having a daughter like you. I love you and pray that you understand forever how incredibly special you are. I love you baby girl and happy 4th birthday.

For anybody who has ever questioned if there is a God, I can tell you I see the proof every single day that I have with my children. There is no doubt in my mind that something so precious is from God whom loves us so much. He would have to love me a ton to bless me with these little blessings in which I do not deserve.

27 weeks!

Yes I am a week away from my third trimester. As of right now I feel pretty good. My allergies are flaring back up which kind of stinks. Poor Brecken has his allergies going crazy too. Taylor is a lucky little snot. She has not had them. Other than that I am just doing the uncomfortableness of being so big but I would much rather do this then the first trimester stuff. All is quiet in my house right now which is nice. Jessica took Taylor to the park with Josiah while I stayed here for Breckens speech therapy and now he is down for a nap. That girl is a blessing being that she is way more super pregnant then me! It has been a rough couple days emotionally and her and a couple other girls have been my rocks. I am so blessed to have them. One of them is moving and that totally sucks. Army life right? Ugh. Anyways having them while Doug is gone has been God showing me grace because I do not deserve them. Doug will be home soon though and hopefully soon after this emotional and hormonal roller coaster will be over after he gets here!! This little Bailey girl is making me weeping and sappy. Anyways my little girl is turning 4 this Saturday and I have been weepy over that too. She keeps telling me she has to grow up and cannot be my baby anymore which makes me cry more. I told her no matter how big she get, she is my little girl always. I will post pics of her birthday party later this weekend!!

P-O-T-T-Y

So I was in the shower and Taylor came in to ask me if she could use my potty. I said no because Brecken was in there and I did not want him getting in there. So of course Taylor decides to not listen. She goes potty and all of a sudden I hear splashing. I look out and Brecken is playing in the potty that she had just peed in. So I grab him and strip him down to put him in the shower with me. Taylor is looking at me like I am going to get her. So I have Brecken screaming in the shower with me and Taylor crying outside the shower. AAAAHHHHH!!!! Finally get him clean and out. He just curled up in his towel and laid there until I got ready. Taylor got disciplined and told that is why we do not disobey mommy. I really do know what I am talking about. Now it is 8 a.m. and I am completely exhausted. Doug needs to come home NOW!!!

26 weeks and standing!!

Yeah I am 26 weeks but Brecken is standing. Not so much me. Brecken has been able to get into a standing position without hanging on to anything! Just straight up from the floor. Although I have only seen him do this a couple times and he still prefers hanging on to something. I prefer to hang on to something too so I will not hold that against him. He has also popped his top molars. This however has not been so fun. The poor kid is in pain when he eats so I have to drug him before he can get food in his mouth. Poor kid. Well Bailey is 26 weeks and wakes me up at 3:30 every morning to remind me she is still there. Brecken and Taylor used to kick me for about 20 minutes and then fall back asleep. Not Bailey. She goes for an hour and a half of really hard kicking. I sit there thinking how is this girl not tired? I am. By the time she stops kicking I have about 20 minutes before I have to get up. So I have been getting up at 3:30 the last couple of days but that's okay because I pass out at 8 every night. All in all she looked good yesterday at her appointment. Well sounded good. I an so ready to be holding this girl. 13 more weeks!!

Verified!!

Yes we had another ultrasound and we have verified there is no penis! This makes me feel a little better since I bought her clothes and now I can start buying the big stuff. She was kicking all over the place and so far she is the size she needs to be! That is good because all my kids seem to be bigger then they should be and they keep testing me for things which I never have. So she is almost 2 pounds which is killing my back now but the nerve pain has gotten way better. Still there but not as bad. She is in my lungs a lot which is making it hard to breathe. Taylor is always on my belly telling Bailey how much she loves her and that she cannot wait to see her and Brecken hugs my belly all the time. He loves her too:) She looks like Brecken so far from the pics. Too cute. I cannot wait for August to come! I am so excited for that moment that I am holding Bailey and Brecken and Taylor are with me looking at her and Doug is by my side. It is so exciting t be having this little one. I am so blessed and cannot believe how awesome my life is turning out. I have had awesome support here while Doug is gone and we are below 100 days until he gets home. Life is good!!

Dreary Sunday

Yes the rain is a comin down and I am hoping the pollen count follows. My friend had her baby yesterday. So exciting. She had another little girl. I am really happy for her but so bummed. She went into labor and everything. I am bummed that I will never get a natural birth. I will always have to have c-sections. I never even got to push. Nothing. I have felt the pain f child labor with Taylor and yes it hurt but I just wish I did not have all c-sections. Now I do not even get that option to try for a natural birth. I will always know what day my kids will be born which kind of ruins the fun of it. I will know what time I go in and everything. I just feel this is not the way it should work out but I know God has his reasons for having me do it this way. Just really bummed that that is something in life I will never get to experience.

Great day to be alive!!

So today we took Brecken in for his therapy and they re evaluated him. He started off at being at a 6 months level when he was 13 months and now he is at a 11 month level and he is 15 months. He is doing great!! He has been cruising on the furniture and walking with a walker. She gave him some arch supports for his little shoes that are going to help. So great how well he is progressing!!

Also I am 24 weeks!! We are almost there!! Having Doug home soon is going to be awesome and I am already getting excited for it. I cannot wait to hold this baby girl!! She is kicking up a storm on there and I can see it now too which is really cool. That is about it. :)

Cruisin'

So Brecken just started getting really good at crawling and pulling himself up on the couch like a week ago. Now after the therapist showing him one time he is cruising on furniture and stuff. He is almost walking already. This is great news for me. He is doing what I wanted which was pulling himself up and reaching for me so I do not have to bend over so far to pick him up. Well with the way this is all going he will be walking way before Bailey is born! Perfect!! Plus the therapist said there is no reason we could not put him in a toddler bed when Bailey is ready to go in her crib. Things are looking up!!!

It's getting hot in here....

Yeah we are hitting records out here on heat. Figures after hitting records on cold during winter. Well I will be 22 weeks pregnant with our little Bailey girl tomorrow. I have been shopping my little heart out to buy her cute little clothes that she does not need since we have all Taylors clothes. They are so cute though!! Taylor talks to her all the time. Brecken has oddly been hugging my belly lately. I wonder if he just wonders why mommy is getting fatter. Anyways kicking is in full swing now!! Especially at 3 a.m. I just have to get her a crib set and then I think we are set for her to arrive. In 17 weeks of course. I am really excited for Doug to get home and we are now on the downhill of this deployment.

Bailey Ryan Levy

Today we found out that we are having a little girl!! Although I saw it and he said it I am kind of scared that a boy may pop out. That would just be the bees knees right. Anywho I am excited and so is Doug. We were leaning more towards wanting a girl:)

Brecken my love:)

Hey everybody! So Brecken is doing great! I know we did not tell anyone because we wanted to see what we were dealing with first. A couple weeks ago while doing the ultrasound to see why Breckens testicles did not discend they had found a lump in his left inaugural lymph node. Of course hearing lump and lymph node we got a little freaked. The doctor explained to me that it could be a number of things. If it shrinks then that was a great thing!! If it grew...not so good. So he wanted to check him in a month to see which way it was going. I apologize that I kept this to myself from a lot of family and friends but I was in a real struggle with God at that point and needed to just roll it over in my head for a while. Anyways at mommies group last Tuesday I had told them about it so we could cover Brecken in prayer before Fridays appointment. So we went in Friday and the prayers were all answered. He could not feel the lump anymore without an ultrasound which in turn meant it had shrunk!! Brecken still needs to go in every couple months for a couple years just to make sure it does not return. His doctor is extremely confident it will not return!! So thank you to the ones who prayed and I know I should not have tried to figure this out on my own but if you know me you know I am still trying to overcome thinking I can do it all alone. Doug and I are just extremely relieved and thankful everything is okay.

Come on baby!!

So I went in for my ultrasound to find out what we were having and NOTHING!! The baby was so curled up we could not see anything. I was so bummed because I want to go shopping:( Well I guess the good news is that I get another ultrasound. Plus we have our 3D ultrasound next week so we should be able to hopefully get a better view. Bad baby!

Spoon in my eye!!

That would feel better right now. Brecken has been SOOOO fussy lately and it is driving me up the wall!!! Today started off horrible, got a little better, and then right back in the toilet. Brecken woke up screaming. He stayed like that until I finally dropped him off at Taylors preschool. Then I ran errands and went to lunch with Jen which was the good part. Then I went to get the kids. Taylors class is usually on the playground so I usually go in and get her stuff and then get Brecken so he can swing for a while. So I go in to do that and when I come out Taylor is in tears with her teacher talking to her. Well if you know my daughter then I figured she fell while running somewhere. The teacher came over and was talking to me about what had happened. Apparently Taylor saw my car and got out of the gate to come over to it. When she could not find me then she started crying saying she was lost. Now this is not a very big preschool and thank God the parking lot is tiny and in the back and right next to the playground. Her teacher saw her and ran out to get her. Her teacher kept apologizing saying there was no excuse for her to have let Taylor get out of the gate. Taylor is a smart girl and knows to stay by the car or to find an adult. So she ran to me crying saying she could not find me and she was scared. I had to talk to her about asking Ms. Sharon or Ms. Monica where I was and to never ever go with any adult that was not mommy or daddy or one of her teachers. While doing this I totally lost my balance while holding Brecken and fell forward. Did not realize how front heavy I am getting. Anyways Taylor got over it and everything is okay.

Might as well get the baby news out of the way for this week. We find out next week what we are having. I will be 19 weeks tomorrow. I am in so much pain that I am having a hard time sleeping. I can only sit up and sleep which is starting to hurt my butt bone. I cannot wait until my mother in law gets here. I walk like I have something up my butt. I only have pain in my crotch and the tops of my legs. Baby is still doing good though and I am excited to find out the sex!!

I hate being sick!!!

Yuck! I have been throwing up since 3 this morning. I think I got what Taylor had. I do not think it is pregnancy related. Now I am sitting here eating bread praying that it goes away. I have been cramping up too which is not helping. Not my uterus but my stomach and stuff. I guess I would rather have this then other stuff I have dealt with in this pregnancy. Very surprisingly I am not in pain from my pregnancy which is odd that this took it away for now. Anyways I am going to sit on the couch today and pray very very very very hard that this goes away. So far Brecken has not gotten it. Oy today would have been an awesome day for Doug to be here so I could go back to bed. Taylor still has it a little but she isn't talking about it as much so it seems to be getting better. Please let us all get better for school tomorrow. I do not think I can handle another house day.

18 weeks!

Okay so I am almost half way there!! This pregnancy is going so fast which means this deployment is going fast!! Anyways baby is kicking still. Always a good sign. Still not super hard but enough for me to know there is someone in there. I am still extremely sore. I am not sure if sore is the word. It is a little more painful. Grin and bear it I guess. My doctor was not happy this last time I went in. She really wishes I had someone to help me out. I had told her I tried. She just wished I had someone dependable here. I laughed and said yeah me too. What can you do right? Plus a lot of the moms here are pregnant themselves or have a hard time understanding the situation which is totally understandable. I did not get it until I was in the situation of having 2 kids with a deployed husband while pregnant. The great thing has been that I have made a lot of new friends lately and I am really excited to be getting in with some older mamas! I am just in that funky not young but not old age. I had Ellisa over for dinner last night and it was a lot of fun:) Other then that just trying to get through another deployment and loving the weather being nicer. That has helped. Just hoping my days keep getting faster!!

Mother of the Year?

Haha. So today is such a nice day and of course my children will not stay still or be quiet long enough for me to get homework done that is due at midnight in which I have obviously procrastinated on. I really wanted to take them to the park but it looks like a good old sit at home and catch up day.

So I am in a pickle. (Been craving pickles a lot.) Taylor sleeps in her bed but she has been crawling into my bed a lot and I am never fully aware that she is even there until I wake up. I very much dislike sharing my bed with kids because I believe that is the one place for Doug and I to be husband and wife and they should not be on there until after 6 in the morning. She usually kicks and stuff which makes me even more nervous being pregnant and her feet end up kicking the belly. Anywho she has not been kicking a whole lot and I actually have not minded her in there. So I know I need to kick her out and make her sleep in her own bed and as I get bigger I will need the room anyways. I just hope I am not totally messing her up by not kicking her out now.

I miss Doug...a lot. I just want these next couple of months to fly by. Hopefully they will. I am very tired of being alone (in which I mean another adult in the house. I know I have many other living things here). It is getting nice outside which is helping. Dougs mom will be here soon which will be nice. Oy Army life is the pits sometimes. If only we were rich. Someday...someday.

Baby Appointment

So I went in today and all looks good. The kids school got canceled because of...rainish drizzle...so I had to haul them in with me. Taylor kept asking to see the baby. She asked if we could have a Bailey. She thought it was really cool when they checked the heartbeat. Then of course she had to explain to the doctor that she will be 4 in May and that she is older then the baby and Brecken. It always makes me laugh to have her with me at those appointments. Anyways everything looks great and I will be making an ultrasound appointment for my 20 week so we should soon be finding out the sex. Very exciting:)

Swinging the Bat

Every curve ball I get thrown I am ALWAYS going to swing the bat!

We have been in a little roller coaster with Brecken but today we had some great news. They just want to keep an eye on him over the next year or so to see if his testicles descend. As of right now the doctor does not think he will need surgery which was the great news. He did have a little overgrown skin that the doctor said he could fix real quick and he had me hold Brecken down while he ripped it back. I thought Brecken was going to fly off the table. After a little cuddling though he was all good. We have to keep that from growing up and over again but that is more just me keeping on it and making sure I pull it all the way back. A can do. All in all a great doctors visit.

I am also 16 weeks now with this other little one. Not much has changed. Still feel good and feeling the poking around in there.

I am very happy about how things are going and I just cannot wait until Doug gets home and I get this new little one in my arms. I am so blessed to have the family I do.

15 weeks!!

Yay!! I am at 15 weeks. It is going by really really fast and I love that!! Each pregnancy gets faster:) So still feeling the baby move. I laid down to figure out where my uterus was and it is almost right under my belly button. I always think it should be smaller but I always measure a couple weeks bigger. Nausea and all that fun first trimester stuff is gone!! I seriously do not even feel pregnant. Except all the moving in my belly which is not a whole lot since the baby is still small but it is there. I still have 2 weeks before my next appointment but we will be scheduling the ultrasound to find out the sex after this next appointment. People have started to notice my belly is pregnant and not fat which is nice. It really did all happen way faster this time. Brecken always laid on my right side and was on my nerve and it always hurt which was really annoying and I remember being excited to give birth so that would go away and now this little one thinks it is funny to be on my nerve on the left side. Taylor was too high to do any of that. My body is really sore by the end of the day but so far I can handle that because I usually feel very rested and good in the mornings. It is getting a little harder to roll over in bed. Not much but I am noticing that there needs to be a little more umph behind it. All in all it is going really good and I am very happy to be feeling better and that I am in my 2nd trimester!!

Now to Brecken. We went to his physical therapy today and he did great. He did a whole 35 minutes before he was too tired to do anymore which is great!! She said that after just 2 weeks she could really see an improvement. I am glad he is doing so well. I pray over him nightly that the therapy works supernaturally fast. I really would love for him to be caught up before this baby gets here. Other than that he is doing great!! He is teething again which kind of stinks but I feel the other teeth popping through so hopefully it will go quickly this time. I lovers that little boy:)

Taylor. Well not much news on her. She is still all over the place and talks non stop. She was a big help today and has really been a big help everyday since Nana left. I love that she is such a grown up 3 year old yet still goofs off more then she should:) Still missing daddy. She gets to talk to him a lot though and she always tells him how much she loves him and that she misses him. She tells everybody he is off saving the world.

Well that is it for now! I am just hoping this month goes fast because I am very ready for nice weather!! I wanna wear shorts and tank tops. Soon!!

Valentines Day

Hmmm. Not sure if it is a happy Valentines Day. Got off to a bad start. I had to take my mom to the airport this morning. I did not want her to go. She was here helping me for 3 weeks and it was really nice having another adult in the house. Plus with all the stuff going on around here that is emotional, it was nice to let her be the adult. So I am back home and alone....again. I am so tired and just want this deployment to end. The good news is that I have not been nauseated for a while now!! I am starting to feel like my old self other then the lack of energy. Baby is kicking away. We should be finding out the sex this next month which will be really cool. Then I can shop for the baby. The rest of the deployment will hopefully go fast with everything we have to do every day. I swear we live in that hospital. Brecken is doing really good. He just started pulling himself up to his knees which is great!! I asked her if he would be walking by the time this baby arrived. She said maybe not which broke my heart a little since he will be almost 20 months. She said lets just get him to where he is crawling first. This whole thing with him is breaking my heart so bad. I had him at Taylors Valentines party at school on friday and one mom asked how old he was and I had said 13 months and she asked if he was walking and I said no which did not bug me since Taylor did not walk until 15 months but when she said he must be everywhere crawling and cruising along the couch I almost broke. Her teacher was there and had asked how the therapy was going and the other mom kind of overheard so I explained that he was not crawling or cruising. Not even standing up on his own and she gave me a funny look like I had done something wrong to make him like this. I know she did not mean too but it took a lot to get home and wait until I went into the bathroom to cry. I am just emotionally drained and ready for my husband to come home and take over. My hormones are not helping either. Well I will keep posting to tell how his progress is going. I love him. I really love him no matter what. I know I am not to blame. It is just I am his mom and I should be able to fix all this. Anyways 14 weeks pregnant and alone with 2 kids again. Pray I can do this. I do not think I have ever needed God as much as I need Him now.

My Brecken Boy:)

So great news about Brecken!! We took him in to the child development specialist this last Thursday. I did not want to tell anybody a whole lot until we knew what was going on specifically. So we took him in and a speech therapist and physical therapist spent about an hour asking me questions while playing with Brecken. So the entire time we are sitting there and they are trying to get him to do things and he is not doing any of the physical I am almost in tears. I am trying to wait until I get to the car because I am sure that is all they need is a pregnant mom getting all emotional with her son. I could not believe how hard it was to see your son being so far behind and not able to do what he should be doing. Anyways after everything they sat down to talk to me about what they discovered. Good news and bad news.

Bad news. Brecken has low tone. His back muscles are extremely strong and his front muscles have not developed much. This is the part I was almost in tears thinking that it was my fault for not getting on the floor with him as much as I did with Taylor. They assured me that it was not my fault and that some babies are just born with under developed stomach muscles. This made me feel a little better because I actually have this in my legs. I was always going to physical therapy to correct this. Also I knew a lot of what they were saying since i had already dealt with all this. Anyways when they explained what this causes then I realized how right they were because everything they said he might be doing, he was doing at home. He never curls his legs under him because that takes abs and he arches a lot with other things he tries to do. They had also said that the muscles in his face are very loose which in turn affects his speech and is why he can only say da da. Again, once explained I saw what they were talking about. So with all this we will be seeing a physical therapist once a week and a speech therapist once a week at the hospital. They have me on a waiting list to have them come to the house to do the therapy since I am pregnant and have the 2 kids which I thought was awesome!!

Good news!! Brecken is very advanced for his age mentally. They were actually shocked on how advanced he was!! Which in turn proves there is nothing mentally wrong!! He figured out all the problems they put in front of him and they said the way he figured out ways around his low tone was very impressive. He figured out how to do things without his stomach muscles and they said normally kids will just give up but he was figuring out other ways to do what he wanted. This made me very happy. I was relieved that this is a fixable problem. They did say it may take a year or so of therapy but I told them that we would do whatever we had to with him. I would haul all 3 of them in once a week for him to get what he needed. God bless the Army for making it possible for us to get him the help he needs on our insurance too! These are the times where you realize what your husband is doing not only benefits the country but his family too.

On to baby news. I still have bleeding but the baby is moving and I feel it so I know that baby is still doing great!! I am 13 weeks now and the nausea has subsided pretty much. I still do not have a lot of energy but I do what I can do. My mom is still here helping so that has been nice. I am very excited to have started to feel baby because to me this is the best part. Anywas more updates as they come and praise God for the blessings He has given us!!

12 weeks and counting!!

So this week has been fun...not at all. I started out with some bleeding. This freaked me out because we have had this problem once before and it did not end well. I went in and had the baby checked. The baby is bouncing around and all good. My mom flew out to help me for a couple weeks. So I went back in a couple days later to get checked and baby is still good although I am still bleeding. Then I got a UTI which was frustrating because they could not give me the meds to fix it until they knew what kind of bacteria it was. So I just spent 3 days on pain meds that made me sick every time I took it which was 4 times a day. Of course they said my meds were ready on Saturday in the middle of the ice storm. I tried to wait it out and go get the meds Sunday morning but the roads were not any better. Sooo now that I am on the meds I have stopped taking the pain meds. So far so good. I was nervous about the bleeding BUT I started feeling the baby move this week so I have my own way of knowing everything is okay which is awesome!

On the Brecken subject. The boy went in for his ultrasound and he is complete!! He just has not dropped which in turn gets us referred off to a Urologist. Hopefully they drop soon or we may have to take the boy in to get him some help with that. That would include the option of a surgery which I do not want to put my baby through. Oy life is always fun when Doug is deployed. Brecken also has his first evaluation this Thursday.

Taylor girl is healthy and happy. No problems other than I cannot figure out where her mute button is. She is really rooting for a girl this pregnancy. I keep telling her it is up to daddy and that if it is a boy she has to yell at him. Haha.

Well other than that I am starting to feel a lot better on this pregnancy and I am excited that my mom is out here for another couple weeks to help me out. I am praying really hard I feel really good before she leaves. Doug is doing great where he is and we are just looking forward to him coming home so we can go meet the newest addition to our family. I can't believe I am going to be the mommy of 3!! I am so excited and feel so blessed with my growing family!!

So Blessed

So we had a little speed bump in the pregnancy. I was bleeding a little bit the other night. Not a lot so I was not too worried. Then I woke up the next morning and I had big clots coming out. So I called my friend and she rushed over while another friend came over to watch the kids. Jenna took me to the ER and we sat there for freaking ever. She brought Jax who did so good!! My kids I do not think would have sat being that good for like 5 hours. When they finally did the pelvic exam he was not happy about how much blood there was. Then they did the ultrasound and I saw my baby jumping around and kicking. A beautiful heartbeat was going crazy too. I broke and just cried. I have never really cried at seeing my kids on that screen. So all in all my baby is perfect and okay. The bleeding however came from my placenta being on my cervix. Not a good thing but definitely the best thing that could happen since it is easily dealt with. Just do not lift little chubby 1 year olds. Haha!! Yeah so My mom will be here in a couple hours to take over the heavy lifting for a couple weeks and then my mother in law will switch with her. I had my friend Paula bring me some diapers and dinner last night and Jessica spent the night with us. I really do have the best friends ever all around. So just a little hiccup and we are fixing the situation and hoping that is the biggest and last problem we have :)

TGIF...I guess

I am not so excited about weekends anymore now that Doug is gone. They are just like any old day now. Today was rough. I am pretty sure I spent most of the day in tears. I was going to call someone to come over just to talk but I always feel bad about doing that. Kind of like my problems are not theirs. My body is starting to hurt really bad. I keep getting myself into thinking that I can do this and it will not be that hard but then it all falls apart and I am thinking maybe I can't. Being pregnant puts a whole different...I want to say problem but the baby is not a problem but another difficulty to deal with. I am so weepy all the time and I am never like this for this long. At least not all day long. I have thought about moving out to Colorado but there are way too many things to deal with in that and it is not worth it. I keep thinking maybe I need help. Maybe go to my doctor and tell her that it seems to be more then just sad. My chest just hurts so bad all the time. Well not so much my chest but my heart. Kind of funny how when your heartbroken it can physically hurt. I know this weather is not helping at all. Stupid cold and rain. I want it to be hot. I want to be able to go outside when I am sad. That always helps. Anyways just gibberish. I am going to hopefully take a bath and go to bed early. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day:)

11 weeks :)

So I went to my first baby appointment today. They told me all the fun stuff that I need to know like I have to have a c-section again and that I will be more sore this pregnancy. Duh. Anyways he could not find the heartbeat so she brought in the ultrasound machine and YAY!! I have never seen any of my kids that little. I only saw them at 20 weeks and older so I was really excited to see this little guy flipping his little flipper feet around. He/she was all over the place. I have not started feeling movement yet but I am figuring in the next week or so I will. I felt Brecken at about 12 weeks and Taylor at 14. Anyways it just made this whole thing more real and since I have been so down it was nice to have a little pick me up. The doctor shook her head when I told her I had a 3 year old and a son who just turned 1 and that Doug was deployed. It was funny. Well now I am all excited about this baby!! There is the update for now.

Exhausted and heartbroken

So Doug is gone. I am miserable. On our last night together we spent it with him holding my hair back as I threw up. I was sobbing so bad so I do not think that helped out. We had to drop him off very early. I hated it. Taylor did pretty good but Brecken was crying saying dada. I am still not feeling great so that did not help. I can't stop crying at all and I hate feeling like this. I just keep thinking it is not fair. He just got home. I know it will go fast and I know how much I love this military life but this just always hurts. I feel like I have a huge hole in my chest. I have been finding sticky notes from him all over the house :) He also made a DVD for us but I have not been able to watch it. I am crying so much already. I just want him to be home more then 5 months at a time. Well I am going to go pity party. I always give myself 1-2 days before I have to snap out of it and be the adult in the house. Day #1 :(

Mini Van Mama!!

Yes I got myself a mini van!! I am actually very excited and I love it!! I was torn between the coolness of a third row SUV and the convenience of a mini van. We chose the mini van just because I was afraid I would regret it later on when we have all 4 kids out. I am sad to give up the coolness and I am still a SUV lover but if I have to grow up and be a soccer mom...so be it. I got a 2010 Honda Odessy. It has automatic doors and a dvd player for the kiddos. I can listen to the radio up front and they can listen to the movie in back or they can listen to their own CD in back while I listen to my own up front. Lots of storage and I mean there is a ton!! I keep finding compartments. We had them buy the Malibu from us which was nice. They gave us a couple thousand over what we owed which was very nice. Doug will keep the Jeep for now. It is lower to the ground so Taylor can get up into it very easily. She can also close the doors by herself and that makes her very excited. It really is all around a really nice van. Plus I do not have to buy a car for a very very long time. So now I am officially an old mom.

Well we have had a bunch of things happen here. A lot of our friends got sent off to Haiti. Kind of sucks because it was all last minute for them. Doug is about to peace out too. I am scared and excited to get this deployment over with. It will be nice to get him home and have this baby. I say it all the time but it is the truth and I love that I have this but I have awesome friends here, some of which are going through the same thing, to help out. I am really blessed to have the girls I do out here :)

Other than that just pray for Doug and us. Also pray for the families and the people who went our to Haiti. We had civilian and military friends go out there and we just want them home soon and safe. The families need prayer because they do not know how long they will all be gone and this all happened very fast for them. I love you guys :) I love that I am surrounded by such strong women!! Once again I am so blessed. Well Brecken is screaming. I have my first doctors appointment this week so I will update!