Exhausted and heartbroken

So Doug is gone. I am miserable. On our last night together we spent it with him holding my hair back as I threw up. I was sobbing so bad so I do not think that helped out. We had to drop him off very early. I hated it. Taylor did pretty good but Brecken was crying saying dada. I am still not feeling great so that did not help. I can't stop crying at all and I hate feeling like this. I just keep thinking it is not fair. He just got home. I know it will go fast and I know how much I love this military life but this just always hurts. I feel like I have a huge hole in my chest. I have been finding sticky notes from him all over the house :) He also made a DVD for us but I have not been able to watch it. I am crying so much already. I just want him to be home more then 5 months at a time. Well I am going to go pity party. I always give myself 1-2 days before I have to snap out of it and be the adult in the house. Day #1 :(