Almost 6 weeks and feeling it :(

Okay so I will be 6 weeks on thursday already. Yay! I just really want the first trimester to go fast. I am so nauseated it is nauseating. It is an all day and all night thing. First I am nauseated because I am hungry and then I feel good when I am eating and then about 10 minutes after eating I am trying to keep it down. I am so completely exhausted. I sleep all the time which is possible right now because Doug is off for three weeks. I am dreading him leaving. My body feels like I have been hit by a truck. My hips are popping out all the time already. My ankles are so sore. Man it came faster with Brecken but this is crazy fast. Only 6 freakin weeks. I am trying to suck in all the time. People do not ask but I would be embarrassed if someone over heard me talking about it and asked how far along I was and I said only 6 weeks. I am so bloated. I am losing weight but I feel like a lard. I did however buy some awesome jeans where the pregnancy band goes up to your ears! They are nice :) My boobs ache :( Okay I am done. Other than that I feel great:) We are going to go in soon and check out what a mini van will run us and what to shoot for in a down payment.

Well I am very excited about this baby as much as it is hurting me now. Soon. I am ready to be out of the first trimester. The first is always my worst. I would rather be a hippo in my third. Well that's all for now:)

I am so excited and scared out of my mind

Yeah so I am excited about this baby. Do not get me wrong. I want this baby and Doug and I are very excited to welcome him/her into our family. On the other side of the coin, I am scared out of my mind. Doug took over everything when I was pregnant. I usually am so sick at the beginning and then so huge at the end that I cannot do much. Doug deploys in January so he will be here most of my first trimester which will be awesome. I am very grateful for that. Plus the kids will still have school so I can do my running around while they are there. I am actually considering putting Brecken in an extra day to get more done but we will see. He will hopefully be back in July so he will be able to help me out in the last couple of weeks. I still get really scared though. Like almost in tears scared and I know I am all hormonal and emotional but I hate feeling like this. I know many woman have done this which makes me feel better and I know I have support from a bunch of friends and that I will never truly be alone. I just keep praying to God and telling Him I am going to need Him more then ever this next year. Lol...maybe that is why He let us get pregnant. I am even more comforted that I have my BFF Forever to help me through this. She always knows how to get me back into reality. So yeah...totally loving this new baby but very scared.

Another weird thing is all the things that are happening. When we got pregnant for the second time, it was right after Courtney had died. It was the same year that Taylor was born. We found out in December and lost the baby a week later. My dad died this year. Brecken was born this year and we found out in December. I know God has it in His hands. Just a little weird. I am praying we never ever have to go through a miscarriage again.

Anyways God is good and I believe we will have this baby. I have 2 beautiful babies now and I am very content with my life and will praise Him no matter what. His plan is the best plan and I will chase after Him forever.

Pregnant....again!

Yep. Bad news and good news this month. My dad passed away November 22nd. Still running my feelings about that through my head. We did not have a good relationship.

Good news!! Baby #4 is on it's way. Sadly we lost baby #2 December 15, 2006. Pray really hard that this baby thrives. I am not worried for it is all in the Lords hands!

A little nervous because I will be pregnant with 2 kids while Doug is deployed but I knew what I was getting myself into and I have awesome friends who can help every step of the way!! I am blessed:) Plus he SHOULD be back for the birth. Yay Army wives!! Anyways that is it.

Joy to the World people!!

So my Christmas decorations are up. No judging!! I came home and Doug was getting ready to decorate and so being the submissive wife that I am, I helped:) So we have officially Decked the Halls. I am going to see how many song titles I can get in here. We put lights in both the kids rooms and they like them and they seem to be calming to them because we have had some Silent Nights. Lol...I rock....around the Christmas tree...lol. Anywho....I am ready for the holiday season but not so much for the holiday. I always just like the weeks before because once that baby is born Away in a Manger, you have to wait another year to do this. Although I am excited for Doug to get some time off...even though he is leaving after that...bummer. I am starting to get okay with the idea of him leaving. I feel like I am a little more mentally prepared now. Anyways my Christmas shopping is done. We live in North Carolina so I doubt we will be Walking in a Winter Wonderland but whatever. I think the thing that I am most excited about is that this will be our first Christmas as a family with Brecken. This is also the first year that Taylor is excited that Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Although she asked if she could trade her bike idea and ask Santa for Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Too bad I already bought her bike. I am just so excited for life. I am so thankful. I have an awesome husband who just keeps on loving me no matter how crazy I get. Two beautiful kids and I cannot wait to add on. Great friends who just make me love the Army because I would not have met them without it. I just love it! Well I am off to do more homework. I will be trying to get more Christmas songs in on my next blog....Silver Bells.

Happy Veterans Day!!

Kiss a soldier!! Just not mine:) Anyways thank you to all the service men and women! We really appreciate it. It will be a huge blessing for Doug to be home for the holidays but not if it wasn't at the cost of other families who sent their loved ones over seas. We are blessed to have people who volunteer to make that sacrifice so it never has to get to the point of being told you have to join the military. Well today I will be spending the day with my family. Happy Veterans Day!!

First Tooth!!

Brecken had a molar pop out a little while ago but it went back down. Now he has his front bottom tooth!! He was a lot worse then Taylor was when teething. Just proof that woman can handle more pain :) Anyways yeah he popped it a couple of weeks ago but I just finally got a picture.

Busy Busy Busy!!

Yeah it has been a few eh? Well yeah. I have been so busy and it cracks me up because I only have 2 kids. Sundays we start off the week with some church. Then it is FOOTBALL!!! The Broncos are 6-0!! I am usually trying to get my homework in by midnight too. Then monday it is up at 5 a.m. for a shower and the kids are usually up at 6. So I get up and make them breakfast...Cheerios and fruit for Brecken with a side of bottle. Then Taylor gets fruit, eggs, bacon and a waffle. Then I make both their lunches. I know....a 10 month old and a 3 year old and I am already making lunches. Then it is getting them dressed and out the door for school. They both go on monday so I am so excited for mondays!! Plus they stay for lunch which is an extra hour. I come home and clean and get laundry going after a 2 mile walk with Bunker. Back to pick them up...home for naps. Daddy gets home about 4:30 and I am off making dinner. After dinner Taylor has dance. We all get home and put everybody to bed while I work out. Tuesday is my off day so I schedule appointments that day for kids...I haven't had a tuesday off yet. After appointments we come home for naps and dinner and then 2 mile walk and bath while mommy works out and to bed. Wednesdays we take Taylor to school. Pizza day so i do not have to make a lunch. Then I usually go to bible study until I have to pick Taylor up. Back home for naps and then same thing...dinner, walk, workout and bed. Thursdays are fun. Mommies group then lunch out usually. Home...naps, dinner, walk, bath, workout and bed. Friday Taylor has school.....then repeat. Naps, dinner, walk, workout and bed. Saturdays are dance and WOW group but we are home by noon doing fun family stuff. Very very busy but I totally thrive off of it and love it!! Being a mom and wife is definitely what I was meant to do. Plus I have to cook, farm, build amusement parks and do my duties as a Mafia member. Yeah life is busy.

Brecken went to his appointment. He is a lot more behind then the doctor wants him to be so pray. If he does not catch up in the next 3 months we will be starting to evaluate him. My thyroid is getting worse so I will go back in to get tested again in three months.

Doug is getting deployed in January. Yeah he just got home so this is a real bummer. He is signing a waiver to cut his dwell time short...which means they can deploy him even though they just got him back here. He will be getting home next summer again but he will be putting in his Officer packet so that means more time here for a while and more money and possibly moving again. All in a days work with the Army. Other than that I am loving it!!

God has been so good and faithful to us. We have everything and more that we wanted in life and we are only 26. I love that it is only going to get better!

Newest Tyson Update

The surgery went amazingly well! Thank you for all of your prayers! They were able to remove the blockage and put in a catheter. The only problem we encountered was that they gave him some medicine rectally that burned his butt. Poor kiddo has been miserable with the worst rash ever.

We have to go in for a similar surgery on October 23rd, complete with anesthesia. So, the trend of surgeries has begun. Thank you so much for all of your continued love and support!

Love,
Pete, Annie & Tyson

Did you know....

that I rock? Yep. Anyways not a whole lot going on here. Just a little update for everyone. Let us see. Taylor is doing great in her preschool class. She loves it and mommy loves my me and Brecken time. Brecken still goes on Mondays and he seems to be really liking it now...which is good because then that is me time. Taylor brings home art stuff she has done everyday. I am really loving the 3 year old age. 2 was really hard. Taylor did the terrible 2s and now she is a ton of fun at 3. She says the funniest things and it cracks me up how old she seems. Brecken is getting to that fun age where he holds on to you when you hold him and is really starting to show his personality which is looking like mine. Taylor is more like Doug in so many ways. I threw him up n the air today and he busted out laughing. He has done this inhale giggle thing (which is really funny. Taylor was always a high pitched giggle.) I have never heard him laugh like that. Plus he is just way more cuddly then before. He has been rolling all over the place...finally. I was a little worried. Taylor was crawling by this age. He can sit up but not for long which bums me out since Taylor could but he is progressing which makes me feel better. He is also teething really bad:( He is so close to popping his bottom tooth. I wish it would just hurry!! He is on solid foods more then formula. He sits in a high chair and a cart now!! He is just getting so big and I remember my favorite age was 9-18 months with Taylor so I am going to take this all in!! He will be 9 months on Monday!!

What else....Jock still has that thing on the back of his leg but he is walking normal. We are going to take him in and get it checked again. It is shrinking though. Bunker is as big as ever and just as hyper.

Doug is back in the swing of things. He is slotted for the February deployment which we are really hoping he does not go on. He wants to g on the August deployment. It is a mission he has never done and if he does it then he has done all Psy Op missions. He will be dropping his officer packet when he gets home from this next deployment. Yep...he is going career. I am glad he is. I would love to move somewhere cool but at the same time we have been here for 5 years and made good friends and gotten into the community which would suck to start all over. I don't know and I do not want to deal with it....Jesus take the wheel.

Well that is it. We had some people ask and no we are not pregnant and no we are not trying. Although we are not preventing so whatever happens...we will be happy with. We would love to add a couple more but we are also very content with the 2 beautiful kids we have :)

Latest Tyson News

Good News:
Tyson is growing! He is up to 21.5 lbs! His kidneys have sort of leveled off...meaning they are not getting worse very rapidly.

Bad News:
Since Tyson has not been using his bladder or urethra they are not working properly. We are going in a week from today for the first of many surgeries to try and remedy this urinary tract problem. We have to fix the bladder & urethra before the kidney transplant or his body will not be able to process the urine the good kidney will produce...in effect ruining the good kidney.

Please keep us in your prayers that the surgery next week goes flawlessly and that we can resolve all of the problems before his kidneys get much worse.

Love to you all!
~Annie

Blessings!!

So I have been in a funk lately and this will be a good exercise for me. I need to write down all the blessings I have and thank God for them. It is not that I have not been thankful, I have just been out of it in a weird way. I am praying it is not anything huge that is making me crazier then normal for another month. I need on more month to get my head together. Cool here we go.

1.I have a Father in Heaven who loves me so much that He sent His only son to die on the cross for my sins and short comings.
2. I have a husband who loves and adores me and whom I love very much and after 9 years I find him a lot sexier now:)
3. I have the most beautiful kids ever and even while driving home yesterday from Barbies with Taylor whining and Brecken screaming I still sat there thinking I love this and I would not even trade this moment for anything. I love being their mommy! They have no idea the impact they have made on my life and if they could only realize how much I love them. They cannot know though until they have children. They are truly miracles and I honestly wake up loving the fact that I get to take care of them for another day.
4. My mom. We have been talking a lot lately and I have loved every minute of it. I never knew how much she loved me or why she did the things she did until I had Taylor. I love my mom and she is one of the strongest woman I know for all the things she has had to go through and the things she is still going through. I do not think I understood a lot of it until our talk the other night but now I feel like I understand better. She did things a lot of other moms never had to and that I pray I never have to. I just hope she realizes how beautiful she is and that God only allowed all this to happen because He knew she was strong enough to handle it. She may wonder why He brought her and my dad together in the first place but I would not have the loving brothers that I do or these beautiful children if their marriage had never happened. I love you mom:)
5. My friends...oh my I love that I have some of the best friends ever. I have a wonderful mommies group who has helped me through deployments with my sanity and I just wish they could all know how much they mean to me. My best friend Annie is my life saver in Colorado and I know she thinks I avoid Colorado because everybody is crazy there (sorry but you all are) but she is wrong. I love going out there and I love her so much and that baby boy she is being a mommy too. She has no idea how much I look up to her! I love that bean she is carrying in her belly too. I wish I could be there to be their Aunt Jenny. I will love them Skype style:) I also love my military issued family. Jenna and Ryan and Jax have been my family away from family. Ryan is the brother I wish I never had...LOL!! Jax is so cute and I can't wait to see him grow up. Jenna is my BFF Forever and I am glad I have someone here to keep me sane in the middle of all these crazies. We may butt heads a lot Jenna but you know it is because we have similar personalities. I am not sure if that is a good thing. Our poor kids have to deal with us. Haha. Anyways I love you for letting me be me and not judging. I had too many friends that did that before.
6.I have a home, running water, I can clothe my children and myself, I can pay all my bills, I have food on the table, cars that run and money in the bank...sorta. I am taking care of in every way and have no excuse to complain about anything. I am spoiled and I am repenting for that on a daily basis for taking that all for granted.
7. I am healthy. My kids are healthy. My husband is healthy.

No complaints today. No worries. No pity party. I really want to use my time today to be humbled and understand the blessings I have in amounts that I do not deserve.

Lord, thank You for everything You have blessed us with. I have no reason to come to You with a complaint. I am blessed beyond what I deserve. I am loved by my family and most of all You. I have Your book to try and live by and I know how much value that is too me. I have complained and criticized what I have while You patiently sat back until I was done with my temper tantrum. I now ask for your forgiveness. I deserve nothing more then hell from You and yet You still try in every way to bring me closer to You. I can never understand the love You feel for me but I want to except it. Forgive me and just be with me today and everyday. Humble me to know I have all this because of You and no one else.
Amen

Courtney Griffin

It has been 3 years! Gees. Well today I actually woke up and the ache in my heart that I get every September 11th was not as bad. I was actually a little more happy about the fact that I got so many years with her. Remembering all the things we did actually made me laugh (and cry a little) but in a good way. Although she died too young, I know there was a reason. When I got pregnant with Brecken, one of my first things was to call her. It was a split second of not remembering she was gone. I still dream of her often. Of just hanging out. At the end of every dream though I either remind her that she is gone or she reminds me. Anyways....

Courtney! Here is to you today! I love the way you always found a joke in everything (even when we got mad at eachother). I love the fact that Taylor got to meet you and wish beyond all else that the rest of my kids would have been able to know what a wonderful and caring person you were. Although they will hear my many storeis of us getting into trouble and how you brought me and their daddy together. I know everybody says this about anybody they know who has passed on but you were the real deal. You always cracked me up and you were one of the reasons I have my family now! Thank you for locking Doug up until he told you he was going to ask me to prom...lol. I love you Courtney! I miss you more than you know. I love you I love you I love you!!!

Tyson Update

Here is the e-mail I got from Annie


We went in for some tests a week ago and it appears Tyson has some other major issues we need to deal with. As you know Tyson has a hole in his belly that bypasses the blockage in his urethra. This has made it so his bladder and urethra have not been used like normal, the size and muscle tone of both are significantly low.

The urologist is very concerned that if we don't get the bladder and urethra working properly that he may reject a new kidney because the bladder/urethra will not be able to process the urine and cause a backup...again.

So...the course of action is this...we go in for a day surgery on October 2nd to remove the blockage in the urethra and put in a catheter. Every two weeks we will put in a slightly larger catheter to get the urethra to grow. The hole he currently pees through will remain until the urethra is usable. The urologist will get on his transplant team so we can have the timing right for working on the bladder as well.

Please keep Tyson in your prayers...God has total control of this entire situation!
We love you all!
Love,
Pete, Annie & Tyson

Other news is that he has gained another couple pounds and is up to 20 pounds. Only 2 more to go! Great news on that!

Keep her family in your prayers.

Also I have a friend Jenna who is BFF Forever that went in for a biopsy. Pray for her that all is good and everything comes back clean. Also her husband is going to France for 6 weeks so pray for his wellbeing...and hers for when he is gone.

I go in for my thyroid test in the next 2 weeks. Just pray that it is gone. I just do not want to deal with medication. I cannot remember where I put my kids half the time much less having to take medication.

I will post Taylors first day of school later.

Peace

The Lord will give strength unto His people; the Lord will bless his people with peace. Psalm 29:11

Wow....give some of that. I need me some peace. So a lot of people are wondering why my blogs lately have been....off. I was looking for a devotional for military wives on the internet and could not find one. It drove me a little crazy because I found other things but not what I was looking for. So frustrated I closed the laptop. Little voice? Yes little voice. "Do it yourself." LOL!! No problem! I am so very spiritual and know exactly what I am talking about!! HAHAHAHA!! NOT!! Besides nobody will listen. "Why do you have to have people listen? Isn't this for you? If they do, great!...if not so what?" Cool...so that is why. More for me because I need a reason to sit up and put things together in my head. I am going to just pick a verse and figure out what it means to me in a military wife and mommy sort of way and blog it:) If you wanna read, awesome!! I hope you get something. If not...cool beans:) I will still throw in my blogs about life and family so no worries all my fans who stalk me:)

Okay so back to the verse. Oh man. Definitely do not feel that peace all the time do we? Or the strength for that matter BUT if you really look at what we as military wives are doing day by day then we kind of do. We have to send our husbands away for huge amounts of time, sometimes to places that they could not come home from, and go on with life like no big deal. That is a lot of strength and for me takes a lot of peace. If you really sit and think about it how do we not scream our way into insanity? So many woman have told me that they would die if they were away from their husbands for a week much less a year. I know my strength is through Him. Trying to love my husband without putting that wall up is probably one of the most difficult things to do. At the beginning of our marriage I would keep Doug at a distance so that if anything happened to him it would not hurt as bad. I do that with most people. As we have gone through this "military" journey together, the wall has slowly started coming down which is scaring me but at the same time giving me peace to trust that God will bless me with the strength to deal with what I have too.

On a different note this is helping with other things. I have been feeling pretty inadequate lately. Not with my husband or my children but with friends and other family. When you hear over and over again that you are just not good enough...not said in so many words by people but you get the jist....you start to believe it. I know just this morning I started putting up my mental wall with someone just because I was so tired of hearing how I did not compare. I started thinking...maybe it is time for me to back off and let this one ride out without me. Then I realized I was doing what so many had done to me. If they did not like what I was going through then they ditched out. These were more or less my "christian" friends too. I don't wanna do that. I know that I just need to pray for that strength for them and that peace for me. Army life is hard. We all have our trials and tribulations. The peace and strength He has given me is awesome though. I have more then I deserve and I honestly think that everyday. I do not under any circumstances deserve anything more then God sending me to hell. Cold hard truth people. Although for some reason He sent His son to die on the cross and gave me another chance. Then on top of that handed me some of the best blessings ever. My husband. My kids. A home and secure job. He loves me a lot more then I deserve. I still pray for these 2 things everyday. Especially being a military wife and mommy. The best part is He always delivers:)

B is for Bee

But as for me, I will look to the Lord... Micah 7:7

Hmmm....funny that this verse popped out at me today. It kind of ties in with yesterday. Love that:) Situation after situation I sit and think how on earth am I going to solve this problem. First mistake....thinking the first place to go is somewhere on earth...haha. The other day we got paid our first check with Doug being home and having 2 kids. Obviously it was a little different since you are paid a lot more when deployed and we never had to take care of both our kids on a non deployed check. Hmmm...how to pay all the bills and still have enough for other things like groceries and fun? My first thought was we just will not put any money back. We can go the next couple months without saving money since we saved a chunk when he was deployed. I felt pretty okay with that. Still wish we had a little more....maybe we will take the next couple of months and not tithe. As I thought this I felt the knot in my stomach tighten and avoided the feeling I got with the thought of not tithing. After a while I actually felt okay about this....we will pay it back...right? Man did that just make me feel like I was stealing from someone and justifying it by saying we would pay it back. So as I am putting clothes away later that night, again that voice in my head (people are going to start thinking I hear voices) again being the Holy Spirit saying "You do not trust me to take care of you? I have promised you over and over again that I would take care of you and how much I love you and your family and I have even proven time after time without flaw that I will take care of you." Aw man!! Why does He always sneak up on me like that!!

Why is it so hard to look to the Lord even though we have time after time had Him prove to us that that is the perfect answer? We have this resource that is perfect and we fail to use it as often as we should which is all the time! I am so very guilty of this. Each thing that I have placed in His hands has turned out way better then the things I have tried to do on my own. You would think I would learn...haha. Well that is the beauty of growing in Him is realizing how hard it was before we took His advice. He really does want to take us so much further then we could imagine and if we just keep our focus on Him it will work out for the best.

Footprints

"....why would you leave me in a time that I needed you the most? Jesus turned to me and said "When you only see one set of footprints in the sand, that is when I picked you up and carried you."

That is my all time favorite. As a military wife and mom you start out pretty excited to do what you do. You get to be the wife of a soildier (although when you start out you do not realize that being a wife to a PFC is not all the bells and whistles you had hoped it would be) even so, how many of us started off with the whole fantasy of having a man in uniform? I remember when I was little wishing I could find my prince and pretty much run away. A lot of you know that I was not in the best circumstances when I was young so running away was what I wanted to do. Go somewhere nobody knew me and start completely over. As it would have it God thought that was a pretty good idea:) Found my prince junior year of high school and never looked back. We moved half way across the country and here I am. The wife of a soilder! Life is just as glorious as I excpected. Wrong!

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love my husband and my kids. I love the life that God has provided us. I truely believe we are ment to be a military family. There are days though that I want to throw my hands in the air and just give up. I want to throw myself on the floor and pound my fists and kick my feet and scream. I sometimes see kids do this and at times feel sad that the parents had let that happen but at the same time envy the kid. I wanna do that!

I believe God will not hand us anything we cannot deal with. I used to say that I knew I was strong enough to handle all of this. Then I had a long talk with a friend whom I always looked up too. She said something that stuck with me. That when we put willpower as our main focus of being able to overcome an addiction, it is just not going to work. It got me to thinking. She is right. Instead of sitting here thinking about how I can control myself on anything, why not run and put it on Jesus? There are so many things that I and many of my friends have tried to take control of and as soon as we give up and let Him have it we are at peace and whatever we were working for comes so much easier. Kind of like being a parent. There are things that my daughter does that I just sit and think, "If you would just listen to me you would not have hurt yourself! Don't you think I am looking out for your best interest?" Then that little voice (Holy Spirit) in the back of my head goes "Really? That is odd because I seem to remember us going through this EVERYDAY!!"

When my husband was deployed, and I know everybody can relate to this on some level, I had days that I just could not do it. I had days that I would curl up in my bed after putting the kids to sleep and just sob. I would beg Him to pick me up and carry me. I was too weak and too tired to do it anymore. I swear as soon as I let Him take control I could feel His arms around me. I could hear Him telling me that I was not alone and that He was not going to let me fall. Those were the nights I would fall asleep talking to Him. Makes me think....shouldn't we do this more often?

So for everybody that is going through something, seriously, just fall. Let Him catch you. Why not? You can't do it alone anyways. The more I roll this over in my mind the more I want to chase Him and let Him control my life. Just some thoughts to ponder:)

Back to normal...ish

So today is our first day back to normalish. Our family has no idea what normal is because our lives change so drastically every 6 months. Doug is back at work and we are back to whatever routine we can salvage. As of now Doug is leaving again in 5 months (which we are praying he gets out of) and so I figure no need in messing up our routine too much.

On a lighter note September starts tomorrow. September is my very favorite month. It starts getting cooler outside. The leaves start to turn. The smell of Fall:) I love fall. Another beautiful that will happen this year is Taylor starts preschool next week. Brecken will also go for Parents Day Out on mondays. So I have no kids on mondays from 9-12. YAY!! Taylor goes mondays, wednesdays and fridays.

We got back from our week in Myrtle Beach and it was awesome! This is the funnest time I had on a vacation. Doug and I got to take the king suite in the condo so that was really nice. I got a massive sinus infection so I was in a ton of pain but after a night in the ER and a shot in the butt (yeah I hate when they do that) I was on cloud 9. They sent me home with some percocet and sinus stuff so I was high pretty much the whole trip which kind of made it more fun:) I never had a sinus infection before and never realized how bad that hurts. Other than that the whole thing was just a ton of fun being in the pool and out on the beach for a week. Well here are a couple pics:)

Pray for Tyson Igel!!!

My best friend, Annie Igel (Forbes), in Colorado whom I love more than anything went through a very tough experience with her son. His urethra did not connect and they found cysts in his kidneys when she was about 12-14 weeks with him. This is a very rare thing and the survival rate is about 30%. They started out by having her go in every couple days a stuck a very large needle in her belly to drain his bladder. Then they decided to put a shunt in through his belly so it would just leak out. They had told her not to get her hopes up in the chances it would just fall out and they did not expect it to stay in for more then a couple weeks. She was 20 weeks when they did this. Only by the power of God it stayed in for 12 WEEKS!! She went in and found out it had fallen out at about 32 weeks which was great because she could have a c-section and he would have a better chance of making it. It went really well and he stayed in the hospital for I think about 4 weeks but was out before they thought he would be. They did a surgery on him and just put a little hole under his belly button for his urine to leak out of. They were going to fix it completely around his first birthday. The cysts were not growing which was awesome news. Worst case scenario they would start to fail and he would need a transplant. Well I will just put on here what Annie wrote all of her family.

Hello all you loved ones!

I'm extremely saddened to report that the worst case scenario is now a reality. Tyson's kidneys have begun failing and will require a kidney transplant. So far they are declining slowly and we praise God for that and ask that continues.

He has to be 22 pounds to be eligible and is only 18 right now. He will get an adult kidney and we are praying that either Pete or I are a match.

The way it works it that he has to be diagnosed with End Stage Renal Failure to begin the transplant testing process. For infants we have to establish a pattern of kidney failure which will allow the ESRF diagnosis before he gets to feeling too bad.

Best case scenario is that we get him up to the 22 pound mark at the same time we establish the pattern of failure so that we can get him a new kidney before he is feeling horrible.

Prayer Requests:
-Tyson would gain the weight rapidly
-The kidneys would continue SLOWLY
-We find a match quickly
-His body doesn't reject the new kidney

I will keep you all updated via email with what is happening. We love you all and are so grateful for your love and support.

Love Annie

This totally breaks my heart. Annie is also 10 weeks pregnant with their second which is not making this any easier. I am begging everybody to pray. My son is around her sons age and I just fall apart at just the thought.... She is the strongest woman I know and she is dealing with this as best as she can which is 10 times better then how I would. Please please pray for her little boy, her and her husband. Also for that new baby that is growing inside her. The chances of this happening to the new baby is next to none but they are still keeping an eye on this baby. She is my family and they are my children's God parents. I love her family so much and it would mean so much to all of us for your prayers!! Thank you!

This is Tyson with my kids. He is in the blue stripes:)

He is home!!!

...and he has been home for a week now but I have been too busy to write a blog about it. So it went great. Taylor asked if she could take him home when we went and picked him up and Brecken went right to him! That was awesome. He has the next 3 weeks off so that will be great for all of us!! Although I am just happy if he comes home at 5 every night. Now we are just hanging out and loving it. I will update more later.

Tires

Taylor woke up this morning and was crying because her pee pee hurt. She had a boo boo from falling into the bed earlier this week so thought it was that but she kept screaming everytime she would go to the bathroom and had to go every five minutes and nothing would come out. Ahhhh said the Jen. I have had these before. So I call the AMIC and get her in at noon and of course it is 8 in the morning so I am just trying to get her through the morning. Finally noon comes and she goes in. Screams all the way through peeing in the cup. I drop it in the toilet and hurry and grab it to catch more pee. Ugh...seriously? Pee all over my hand. I stood at the sink scrubbing my hands for like 5 minutes. I can stand poop but I HATE the smell of pee!!! Finally get everything cleaned up and we go give the nurse the cup. So we go sit in the waiting room because it takes 30 minutes to run the lab on the urine. Taylor crying the whole time saying it hurts. Finally go back and the doctor asks a bunch of questions. After a million questions on why I would think it is a UTI she tells me that the labs did say it was a UTI...really? I have one kid crying because he is hungry and the other one screaming in pain and you sat me down to ask me 5 minutes worth of questions about something you already knew the answer too? Really? Finally get her script and then we have to go sit in the main pharmacy that deals with the entire hospital. Like 45 minutes later we finally get her meds. Gees!! She feels better now and that is good.

Thumb Tacks

YAY!!! Doug will be home soooo soon!! I am so excited!!! I still have a lot of stuff to do but you know how it goes. I have both cars back and fixed so I will be able to get them all clean. Plus the house and I need to do more shopping. I am sooo excited.
So I got my labs back from the doc and my Thyroid is low. She was explaining the symptoms of it and I was cracking up. Fatigue, weight gain, losing hair, poor memory and forgetfullness....sounds like motherhood to me. I never knew there was another reason! Still I will go in 3 months from now to get tested again to see if it will fix itself. I hope it will because I heard the medication makes you feel poopy. I am not very good at doctors telling me what I can and cannot do. I got yelled at a lot for moving around so much after Brecken was born but I never really sat around with either of them. Too much life to get on with. So I am just hoping that it is from just having a kid 6 months ago or just getting off my period. She said that can make the levels weird because I seriously feel fine and all those symptoms I feel like are from having a 3 year old and a 6 month old and being a single mom right now. BUT NOT FOR LONG!!!
We also decided not to go to Sandy Cove yet. We will be getting back from a very long vacation just to go right back up there so we are going to wait. Still looking forward to the beach for a week though!!
Yay for life!! God is good:)

6 Month Check Up

So today we went in to have Breckens 6 month check up. He weighed in at around 15 pounds which is underweight...lol...really funny since he is a chubs and he is in the 45th percentile for his height. So he is short and skinny...lol. Total opposite compared to Taylor who was way tall and considered overweight. Cracks me up. Anyways the doctor checked him and he has everything he needs to have as a 6 month old boy. He is ahead on all his learning things except the rolling over. That actually might be more my fault then his since he spends more of his time in his excersaucer then on the floor. Big dog paws scare me a little. He did say that the molar was weird since babies usually pop the bottom and top first and usually do not pop the molars until 14 months. Then we went in for his shots. The lady giving him the shots remembered him and it was pretty funny because she kept telling everybody he was her baby. Then he screamed through the shots...poor baby boy:( So I grabbed him up and hugged him tightly but as I did he was giving the lady who gave him the shots a dirty look!! Really dirty like he was seriously glaring at her! I couldn't help but laugh and he then looked at me with a shocked look!! It was so funny because he was looking at me like "Why are you laughing?! Did you see what she did to me!". I laughed harder...too funny. He is too young to have hurt feelings! So all was good. He came home and slept. So my baby is 6 months and healthy. I seriously look at him (most of the time while he is sleeping) and think wow...this is what I was born to do. He is beautiful. Just like his sister. Kind of gets me excited for the next one. We will see...Doug gets home soon but kind of hoping God puts it off for a couple months so we can enjoy our little family without mommy feeling like poop. Well life is awesome and I am just getting really excited to have my better half home.

VACATION!!!

Yes I need one and I think I deserve one!! So Dougs whole family is coming out. Dougs brother and sister in law with their daughter are coming out here on the 18th of August and staying with us until the 22nd in which we will all drive down to Myrtle beach and stay there in a condo from the 22nd to the 29th!! Woo hoo!! I am sooo excited!!! After that we will come home for a week before we drive out to Sandy Cove for Labor Day weekend. Did I say that I am sooo excited!! I was looking around thinking about what I had to pack and we still have 6 weeks. Haha. Doug will be home sooo soon. I cannot wait. I have a million trillion things to do but probably will not do any of them :)
Brecken goes in for his 6 month check up on wednesday. He is getting so big so fast. I go in for my check up tomorrow. I was thinking of cancelling but my knee has been hurting a lot lately. I think I did something to it while running one day. So I will have them deal with that. I went to the Wives of Warriors group on saturday and it was awesome. I met a girl that is trying to get pregnant with her first and we got to talking and of course by the end of our conversation we were in tears. Really nice girl! I really hope they get pregnant. I also met a new friend in Taylors dance class. Our daughters were talking and I really liked her mini van and so I asked her about it and we get along really good and of course our daughters. We started hanging out a little bit. I am glad. I need some friends with kids Taylors age...poor girl is stuck around boys all the time.
What else would you all care about....my Jeep is going to cost half of what the other place told us so that is really great news. Now I have to take in Dougs car for his brakes. Why not right? Ugh I wish we lived back in the day where you had a horse and carriage....way cheaper to shoot the stupid horse.
We went to Monkey Joes and Taylor had a blast. We are going back monday with friends so that will be fun. Other than that I am busy everyday these next couple weeks which will make it go fast!! Yay for husbands coming home from deployments!! Well I will update after Breckens 6 month appointment!

6 months!!

Yeah my baby is 6 months today. I cannot believe he is already so big. Doug should be home before he turns 7 months!! Anyways yesterday was the 4th of July. It was a lot of fun and Taylor has the bruises, burns and fat lip to prove it. The poor girl had a blast but she kept running into things and she tripped over Buddys legs while she was geniusly trying to jump over them. Then when she was out doing sparklers she apparently thought giving herself a tattoo was a good idea and put the hot metal on her wrist. She gets all of this from daddys side of the family. I had to wrap it up in gauze this morning. Poor baby:( Other than that we all had a lot of fun just hanging out with friends and a lot of baby boys. I wish Doug could have been there. Next year. Well he will be home soon!!! Here are some pics.

First Tooth!!

So Brecken popped his first tooth!! Doug missed it again!! Taylor did not pop hers until almost 10 months so I was figuring he would be back to deal with the teething. Nope. The really weird thing is it is a molar. He has been really fussy and drooling so I put my finger in his mouth to check seriously not expecting to feel anything and there it was. A little white bump. I am so bummed Doug missed it!! That is one of the things I wanted him here for:( Oh well. Next time maybe. Although the way he has been acting I should have known. I could not figure out why he was acting so weird! You would think I never had a kid...geez! Drives me nuts that I am doing things like a first time mom. Anywho that is that. My little man has a tooth and decided that made him a big boy so he grew out of 2 diapers too. On too 3s.

Beetle Bugs

I am so ready for a vacation and I am getting one!! HAHA!! This place called Sandy Cove does a one time deal that when your spouse gets home from a deployment then you get 5 nights free. All you have to do is get up there and get home which is only a 8 hour drive for us. It is a camping ground where we will stay in a cabin...I think....or a room. Anyways it has beds so I am assuming we are in a shelter. They have all kinds of activities for families and kid stuff. All of our food is provided. I am so excited. We cannot afford to go to Colorado so we are going to do this instead. It will be so much fun to just go away and be a family for a couple days. We have not had a chance to just do that. I think the kids will have a lot of fun too. Only part that sounds not so fun is the car ride. So the countdown is on. July is going to be a crazy month which will be great because then it will go just that much faster. So yeah that is it for now!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR DOUG T FINALLY GET HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bum!

That is what I am going to be today!! BUM! So as you see our house is looking AWESOME!! I am so happy with how our front yard is turning out!! So a couple things. My brother got a role in Les Mirasawhatever...I do not know how to say it. It is not a lead role but it is a big part and it is with one of the best theaters...so people tell me. I am seriously out of touch with that stuff so I have no idea. I just know that he had been waiting to find out and when he got it everybody was really excited so must be good:) My other brother opened his show Evita last night. I told him to break a leg. That is what they say right? If we go out in August then I will definitely go see them.


Taylor finished her dance camp this week. She loved it and had a blast. I can't wait until the next one!! I thought that I would be lost and not know what to do with 2 free hours but surprisingly I was in a rush to go pick her up everyday since I had been busy. She keeps showing me all her dances which has been funny. I just cannot believe how big she is getting. I heard her get up and go to the bathroom last night and then get back in bed and I thought wow is my child seriously old enough to go potty by herself at night. I just cannot believe how incredibly blessed we are.


Brecken stopped crying when I try to put him down at night but he still screams through most of his naptime. I make him sit up there for 2 hours and he can scream or sleep. He is still picking screaming. He will be 6 months soon which is crazy!! I am starting to look at myself as a mom more than a young girl with a baby. It is really weird to think "my kids". Kind of makes me feel old:) It is going to be really weird when we get pregnant for the 3rd time. I had people ask me if Brecken was my first when I did not have Taylor around and I think it will be funny when people ask me that again with the 3rd and I say no this is number 3. I thought 22 was old to start having kids but now I see that it is actually very young. Especially when I see my friends having kids at the same age...they seem so young. Which is funny because all the guys are a couple years older then Doug was when we had Taylor. That is what he gets for marrying someone the same age as him. Just so weird to be in this stage of life. I love it. Anyways I am kind of just thinking out loud here.


Doug will be home soon and I am so ready. We were thinking of coming out to Colorado but we are not positive if that is going to work out. Taylor starts school around that time and we really do not have anyone to watch the dogs since everybody will be taking block leave at the same time who is getting back. Plus the money thing. Plane tickets are pretty expensive. Especially when you are buying 3. We still might have to get the Jeep fixed. Doug and I also start school around that time. It does not matter to me as long as he is home I do not care where we are. I just want to get back to being a family. Well that is it for now. I am going to go watch Tigger and Pooh.

Magic Markers:)

Hey so today my best friend Annie turns 26!! Pray for her becuase today her and her husband are taking their little boy in to see when and how his surgery is going to be done. He will be one in August:) I could not imagine having to do what she is doing. Also pray for my BFF forever Jenna. She had her son a week and a half ago by a very rough c-section and she is starting to feel the emotional hurt that goes with it. If you have had a c-section you know what I am talking about. That one thing your body and you as a woman were meant to do but could not. Keep her whole family in your prayers. Being a military family is rough in more ways then one:)

Another Sunday

Well today is going to be another bum day. Brecken and Taylor are both coughing now. I wish this sick thing would go away. I am just happy I have not caught it yet. I am completely exhausted. I am so tired that I am constantly dizzy. I am also not eating as much as I should be because I just do not have time. I think this is the most exhausted I have ever been in my life. I even fell asleep reaching across the desk for a pen. I slept with me face smooshed to the calender for like 30 minutes and woke up kind of laughing at myself. I was never this bad with any of the kids before or this tired during the last deployment. I wish Doug was here to help. I feel like if I could just get a really good sleep....like the kind when someone else is watching the kids and you do not have to be half awake listening for them...then I would be okay. I guess the good news is that I am so tired that all the lightheadedness and dizziness makes me feel high...lol. Only a couple more weeks. Taylor started dance. We had a few hitches but I think she is going to like it. We were finally able to mow our lawn and it looks great!! I am so excited. I put ant killer down yesterday so hopefully that gets rid of them. Taylor has dance camp all week so that should make time go fast. I went to the military wives group yesterday and that was really fun. I saw a lot of girls I had not seen in a while. I saw my friends twins. Poor girl:) She has a son Taylors age and had twin girls 2 weeks before I had Brecken and her husband is also deployed. Now she has to be tired. It was nice to talk to someone who was going through the same thing and have that encouragement:) I think I am going to try and find a mentor through church who is a little older and had more kids so they can help guide me in what to expect. After having 2 kids you start to figure out that you do need that guidance. I really needed that group yesterday. I just need my other half home. Well I am going to go sit on the couch and fade in and out of consciousness.

Sunday sunday sunday

Oh I cannot wait for football to start again! Anyways today we sat around. I have this pressure in my head I cannot seem to get rid of. I was going to take some Sudafed or something but I am already down to twice a day with Brecken and do not want to dry out too much. Taylor has been making my laugh all day. I made lunch which turned out horrible (and it wasn't me. It was one of those Homestyle Bakes and it was nasty!!) and she ate a little bit, made a face like she thought it tasted gross which it did and kept eating it and told me it was yummy and thank you for making her lunch. Oh that girl is way to good to be my daughter. I almost broke into tears. I love those kids so much:) I am making her some cookies right now to make up for it. Hopefully they taste better:) Brecken has been sleeping and eating. He is going through another growth spurt. I put on a 6 month onesie and pajamas and he is too tall and too thick for them. Taylor was always just too tall. So we are up to 9 month outfits now. I took Taylor to the doctor and she is all healthy. She is in the 75% for her height and her weight. We will see in a month with Brecken when he is 6 months. My babies are growing. I finally quit swaddling Brecken and decided to let him cry it out at night until he fell asleep. He figured out that I wasn't coming in after 3 nights and now he goes right to sleep when I put him down. It is a relief to know we are through that hurdle. I have been reading those Twilight books. I know everybody thinks they are all dumb but they are really good. I read the 1st one in 2 days and the second one in 1 day. I am actually enjoying reading since it gets me away from watching TV at night while the kids are in bed. I think more when I read. So yeah I am just sitting and waiting for this wait to be over with Doug getting home. I feel like the last couple weeks I have been having to tell myself to put one foot in front of the other more than I had too before. I am trying not to lose myself in this huge hurricane I feel like I am in the middle of. I just feel like I am not really here mentally lately which I am afraid Taylor might start catching on too. Hopefully I snap out of this when we are back into our stuff this month. Other than that I am just trying to try. Well I am going to go pull those cookies out:)

Well at least it is June:)

Only about 2 more months. So Jenna had Jax!! Yay!! After a huge drama and let me say that I will never deliver at Womack again. I will stick with Cape Fear. Anyways after hearing what all happened it was affecting me a little more then I thought it should. It was really weird. Then I remembered Courtney and realized why. Losing Courtney was the worst emotional pain I had ever been in and as horrible as it sounds it was worse then our miscarriage although that ranked right below it. So now I realize why it hit me harder then I had thought it should. Thank God they are both okay so no worries. I miss Doug more than anything right now. I need someone to talk to and he is the someone I need right now. Soon. The kids are doing great. Taylor starts dance on tuesday. We also start our mommies group up again and we are going 2 days a week. It is going to be busy which is great. Time will go faster. Anyways that is all that is really going on. I am going to go read:)

Loving the grass!!

YESS!! Our house is looking good!! So we did not do a whole lot this week which was a very nice break. I have been tired and wanting to just sit. Besides I really have only one more week of sitting left. Taylor starts dance in a week. I am pretty excited:) I need these next 10 weeks to fly by!! I am reading a good book called "The Shack". Read it if you have time. Other than that I am just waiting for Jenna to pop out Jax so we can all start playing with him. Even though he will be the snore of the party for a couple weeks:) Here are some pics of Taylor in the sprinkler:)

I need a break!!!

I have been so completely exhausted. I went to bed at 8 last night and did not get up until the kids woke me up. I have had a really bad stomach ache all day and Brecken wants me to hold him all day. Figures. Right as I was sprinting to the bathroom Taylor was goofing off as usual and....hold on....sorry...another fun bathroom run. Anyways she slipped and fell and the way her ankle was twisted I almost thought it was broken. Please God do not let me get sick. Well I just put Taylor down and Brecken is eating so I am going to see if he will lay down too so I can lay down. Let us hope that something good comes of this and I at least lose some weight.

9 years!!

Yep. Nine years ago Doug took me in his arms and kissed me for the first time. Sounds romantic huh? Well it was more like he kind of tried to tackle me for the basketball and while I was trying to beat him off he kissed me and ran. Yes he says he did not run but he fibs. He did. Back in the day when we were 17 years old and now 9 years later we have 2 beautiful kids and I know for me I am more in love with him now then I was then and I was smitten pretty good:) I know it is not our wedding anniversary but it took me a very long long time to talk Doug into going out with me. A long long time. So today is like a victory of me winning 9 years ago and to tell Doug....I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WANTED THIS!!! HAHAHAHA!!! I love you:)

Come Home

So these last couple of days have been rough. My dad and I have separated ways again. It kind of sucks but he is really starting to do things he used to do. I feel bad but I just cannot do it again and I will not have my kids go through it. He kind of laid it on Doug too while he is gone. Nice huh? A guy who is at war and his wife who is home alone with 2 kids. Oh well if there is one thing the military has taught me it is that family does not have to be blood. I am sort of relieved. I was really starting to get a bad feeling about all that anyways. He had me so upset the other night and I was just sobbing so loudly that I am glad the kids were in bed. I can't let him do that to me and I cannot break in front of these kids. They deal with enough stuff with all the decisions Doug and I have made for their lives as Army brats.

The kids are being good but Taylor is definitely missing her daddy. I am very ready for him to be home. I love this stay at home mom gig but I like it better when it is not a single mom thing. Only 3 more monthsish. Well I am going to go and finish watering the lawn since it looks like it is going to rain...stupid weather:(

So yesterday was my baby girls 3rd birthday. It is so bittersweet to have her grow up. She is doing it way to fast but at the same time she really is growing into such a great girl who talks A LOT!! I was sad that Doug could not be here. We had a great day. We came downstairs so that she could open all her presents in which she played forever with. Then we went to lunch with her Uncle Buddy, Aunt Jenna, Auntie Marcela and Anthony. Then we went over to Dianns house and hung out with all of them so she could run around with Elise, Eli and Logan. It was a lot of fun. Later today is her party. It will be a lot of fun. I just cannot believe I have a 3 year old. Anyways I love her so much. She is my first and that is just something we will always share. She is the one who gets to be my tester child. She is strong willed and stubborn like her mommy yet kind and loving like her daddy. When I first held that girl I finally knew what I was born to do. I was born to be her mommy. She has made me look at myself in a whole different way and has brought a whole new meaning to the word love. I look at her and even on the days that I am about to loose it with her I cannot believe how incredibly blessed I am to have her. She is going to be a strong woman one day. She is beautiful in every sense of the word. I carried her under my heart for 9 months. I love you Taylor and I hope that you know that everyday of your life and that you never have to question that. I hope you always know your daddy loves you and that he does all that he does for you and that you will always be his girl. I pray that we can raise you to know how loved you are not just by your family but by your real Father. He is the one who blessed us with you and I pray to Him everyday that I am so grateful for you. None of us can ever measure up to how much He loves you...but I can sure try:) I love you baby girl and keep smiling... You bring so much to the world and it became a better place the day you were born.

Carolina summers are here!!

It is getting HOT!! So today was pretty good. I took Taylor to story time at Barnes & Nobles. She was really excited about seeing the mouse. I went and ordered her birthday cake today. Of course she got the princess cake. Got her birthday presents in the mail so that was good. I have them for friday. Not much else. I am super jealous of Marcela because Anthony is home on R&R. I wish my husband was home. Only a couple more months. I am really excited because Jenna should be having Jax soon. Can't wait to meet the scrub. Anyways I have been doing my Wii workout and I feel good. School is done for the summer...YAY!! The kids are in bed so I am going to go watch the rest of my show and maybe go read a little. Adios!

My babies are all getting to big!!

So Brecken is 4 months now. I gave him some cereal and started him on baby food. Holy cow that kid was LOVING it. He ate the whole thing and still breastfed. Taylor never ate a whole thing. I am totally exhausted. Brecken has been getting up at night again to eat. The doc said it is because just breastmilk is not doing it anymore so he gets the cereal, breast milk and a bottle. My little oinker:) I got my labs back. The mole under my boob was just that...a mole. The one on my nose was a benign fibroid. Very interesting. Other than that there has not been a lot going on. Just trying to get through the days until Doug gets home:)

Another day in paradise

Okay so maybe not paradise...so today we pretty much sat and did nothing. These are the days that I miss Doug the most. Just being able to sit with him and the kids and do nothing. For the short 10 days we did have we would all get up in our bed and watch cartoons on that one or two saturday mornings. Not to say that Doug and I were not a family before we had the kids but I really feel like a family now. Even when we just had Taylor it did not feel like a family family. It feels like we have a family with Taylor and Brecken. I just love my kids so much it hurts sometimes. Doug too. People tell me things about their husbands and it just makes me feel all that much more blessed to have mine. He really is one of a kind. I cannot wait until he gets home. I am so excited about how our lives are going.

Our yard is getting some more stuff done on it tomorrow. I am really excited about that because it will look more finished. I need to finish painting the trim in the kitchen someday. I went over to Jennas house for dinner and saw her blue tape up and didn't feel bad that I still have mine up. I am starting a trend:)

Taylor told me today that daddy was her hero. That was cute. She misses him a lot. I don't think I have ever seen a girl love her daddy more than she loves him. Well I have a ton of stuff to do tomorrow and Brecken is crying.

So today I was looking forward to doing a whole lot of nothing. I got up at 5 and did my praying...only way I get through the day is if I pray first...then came down stairs and yay Doug got his extra check which I really needed since the car took some of our savings. Got that all put back. Got ready and had some coffee. Went and watered my lawn. Played Wii with Taylor. We did some yoga which surprisingly she is very good at. Then we played other games. Then I got a message telling me that I was supposed to go to the Dogwood Festival with Margret which I totally forgot. Then another message saying I was supposed to go to Joes baby shower. Yeah...well I told Margret that I already said I was going to this party so I am trying to get out there. I wasn't going to go to either but they are going to have a kiddie pool and roast a pig on a bonfire and fireworks so I figured Taylor would really have fun. So I actually need to get around to go. Oh yeah and we have decided pretty much that we are just going to have like 10 kids and home school. That way they all get the social from each other and we never have to send them to a public school. I know...genius!

So not a whole lot going on. I am sitting here trying to figure out bills...yay...fun. We want to try and get the car paid off before Doug gets home. I still owe Dougs parents money. I have got to send some off this check. My Jeep went in for more work which cost $500. Can't really complain since it was pretty much a free car. I am just rolling this whole school thing in my head. I don't really want Taylor to go to a public school out here. They are so bad. I don't really want to home school her. I think she needs the interaction of other kids. I need time away:) Still have 2 years to figure that out. So I do not know if anybody watches Oprah but I turned it on the other day thinking the Columbine thing was on and nope. They were talking about child porn and she had asked the woman to go into detail about what was on a video. I could not turn it off fast enough. I heard a little bit of it and it was about a grown man and a girl about Taylors age. I was in tears and actually got physically sick. I was so sick that Oprah would even put that on. She had said that people should know about this so we could stop it which I agree but I did not think they needed to go in detail on what people were watching. I was just so enraged at it. I still am. It was so sick. I had nightmares. Anyways enough about that. Just sick that a grown man or anybody could ever do that to a child. I will not watch Oprah again ever.

Yuck

Feel like crapola today. Woke up at 4 to feed Brecken. Then when my alarm went off I could barely get up I was so sore and my nose and ears hurt. Taylor came in and I just put on the TV for her and fell back asleep. I woke up to her and Brecken laughing in his room. She was entertaining him which was nice. I could barely sit up to feed him again because of how sore I am. I laughed at the thought of getting up to go to church and trying to haul him in there. At least Taylor can walk. I hate having a cold. Luckily it is just a bad cold and not the flu or anything. Thank God. I cannot handle being sick for more than a day. I have too many things to do. Well I had some landscaping done. It looks awesome!! I also had some moles removed...from my body...not my lawn...and that hurt. My nose still hurts from the needle...not so much them removing it and there is a huge hole underneath my boob from that big one. He wasn't worried about them but he is getting them tested anyways. I am not worried but you always have that sort of "what if" thing going through your mind. Now I will just have a big nice scare under my boob. Speaking of boobs, I miss Doug. Brecken is doing so many things and I am just so bummed out that he is missing it but I am so stoked that he gets to see all the stuff that he missed with Taylor. She asked for him this morning and said she missed him. Still breaks my heart. It has been a hard last couple of days. The good news is Doug found out he should be home around his birthday. Not too much longer. I can't wait to get this family back together for the little time we can before he goes again. This is the 3rd time we have been apart for more than 6 months at a time. I am just completely exhausted and I am actually surprised my body has not been more run down than this. Yay!! Anyways here are the pics of the house.

Oh fun day...

So today I had the guy show up to install my screen doors..yay...and another guy to install our range hood...fun...then it rained all day so the guy who was supposed to mow my lawn couldn't do it. I had to run out to the stores and get some stuff and I found some cute lamps that I really liked so I got 2 at $70 a piece. Came home and spent an hour with Brecken crying at me putting them together and they don't work...I am taking them back and getting my money back. I also got a cute new little coffee maker. The other one was way to big. I had to hurry and clean upstairs so I could put the kids to bed. I just need to vacuum stairs and office and cleam all the bathrooms and the kitchen...just....hahahaha. I am so tired. I just feel like I am doing things all day long and I do not sit at all and at the end of the day I feel like I have done nothing. Well tomorrow is payday for everybody else so I am sitting my pretty butt here and doing nothing since people are crazy on payday. I miss Doug. I just do not want to be a single parent anymore. Taylor has been calling me mama lately. Kind of weird. I don't know where she picked that up. Well I am going to sit here and listen to some worship music to calm myself down and then go to bed. Night.

Love it!

Yay!! We paid off more debt today!! I love it!! So the kids are being really good and giving me a couple minutes to write. We had a lot of fun yesterday for Easter. Poor Taylor got all bit up while finding Easter eggs so I was up with her most of the night putting stuff on her bites. I hate that too. She looked really cute in her dress. Brecken looked very handsome in his overalls. Today is a rainy day so I am sitting doing nothing which I have not really done. I feel like I am soo busy all the time. I should be doing homework. I am not doing so great in my class. Well that is all I can think of for now. Laterz!

Yay!! I am a blogger!!

Eh what can I say...I like to talk about me:) So I am getting the kitchen all painted. Make sure if you ever paint a kitchen that you do not pull the wallpaper off the drywall completely. I had some friends tell me to stop and since I am older and wiser I did not stop. Oops:) I am so to the point where I just do not care. I am ready for this month to be over. Brecken has been sleeping 11 hour nights! Yay for me!! Makes me want another one:) Taylor is talking non stop which at times is driving me up the wall. I love my kids more than anything...well I love Doug more...and I love God more than him but you get my point...anyways I love them more than anything but I am getting kind of tired of this whole single parent gig. A lot of people tell me they understand which is HILARIOUS considering most of them have never done this before. Trying to get things done around the house is getting hard because Brecken is awake more often then not. Well not a whole lot I can do about it but suck it up and try. Doug really only has about 5 months left. Not bad. I am enjoying being able to afford more things which means more improvements on the house and a ton of debt getting paid off but I would rather have him home. Okay enough babble. I have got some lunch to attend too.