Yeah so I am excited about this baby. Do not get me wrong. I want this baby and Doug and I are very excited to welcome him/her into our family. On the other side of the coin, I am scared out of my mind. Doug took over everything when I was pregnant. I usually am so sick at the beginning and then so huge at the end that I cannot do much. Doug deploys in January so he will be here most of my first trimester which will be awesome. I am very grateful for that. Plus the kids will still have school so I can do my running around while they are there. I am actually considering putting Brecken in an extra day to get more done but we will see. He will hopefully be back in July so he will be able to help me out in the last couple of weeks. I still get really scared though. Like almost in tears scared and I know I am all hormonal and emotional but I hate feeling like this. I know many woman have done this which makes me feel better and I know I have support from a bunch of friends and that I will never truly be alone. I just keep praying to God and telling Him I am going to need Him more then ever this next year. Lol...maybe that is why He let us get pregnant. I am even more comforted that I have my BFF Forever to help me through this. She always knows how to get me back into reality. So yeah...totally loving this new baby but very scared.
Another weird thing is all the things that are happening. When we got pregnant for the second time, it was right after Courtney had died. It was the same year that Taylor was born. We found out in December and lost the baby a week later. My dad died this year. Brecken was born this year and we found out in December. I know God has it in His hands. Just a little weird. I am praying we never ever have to go through a miscarriage again.
Anyways God is good and I believe we will have this baby. I have 2 beautiful babies now and I am very content with my life and will praise Him no matter what. His plan is the best plan and I will chase after Him forever.
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