Footprints

"....why would you leave me in a time that I needed you the most? Jesus turned to me and said "When you only see one set of footprints in the sand, that is when I picked you up and carried you."

That is my all time favorite. As a military wife and mom you start out pretty excited to do what you do. You get to be the wife of a soildier (although when you start out you do not realize that being a wife to a PFC is not all the bells and whistles you had hoped it would be) even so, how many of us started off with the whole fantasy of having a man in uniform? I remember when I was little wishing I could find my prince and pretty much run away. A lot of you know that I was not in the best circumstances when I was young so running away was what I wanted to do. Go somewhere nobody knew me and start completely over. As it would have it God thought that was a pretty good idea:) Found my prince junior year of high school and never looked back. We moved half way across the country and here I am. The wife of a soilder! Life is just as glorious as I excpected. Wrong!

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love my husband and my kids. I love the life that God has provided us. I truely believe we are ment to be a military family. There are days though that I want to throw my hands in the air and just give up. I want to throw myself on the floor and pound my fists and kick my feet and scream. I sometimes see kids do this and at times feel sad that the parents had let that happen but at the same time envy the kid. I wanna do that!

I believe God will not hand us anything we cannot deal with. I used to say that I knew I was strong enough to handle all of this. Then I had a long talk with a friend whom I always looked up too. She said something that stuck with me. That when we put willpower as our main focus of being able to overcome an addiction, it is just not going to work. It got me to thinking. She is right. Instead of sitting here thinking about how I can control myself on anything, why not run and put it on Jesus? There are so many things that I and many of my friends have tried to take control of and as soon as we give up and let Him have it we are at peace and whatever we were working for comes so much easier. Kind of like being a parent. There are things that my daughter does that I just sit and think, "If you would just listen to me you would not have hurt yourself! Don't you think I am looking out for your best interest?" Then that little voice (Holy Spirit) in the back of my head goes "Really? That is odd because I seem to remember us going through this EVERYDAY!!"

When my husband was deployed, and I know everybody can relate to this on some level, I had days that I just could not do it. I had days that I would curl up in my bed after putting the kids to sleep and just sob. I would beg Him to pick me up and carry me. I was too weak and too tired to do it anymore. I swear as soon as I let Him take control I could feel His arms around me. I could hear Him telling me that I was not alone and that He was not going to let me fall. Those were the nights I would fall asleep talking to Him. Makes me think....shouldn't we do this more often?

So for everybody that is going through something, seriously, just fall. Let Him catch you. Why not? You can't do it alone anyways. The more I roll this over in my mind the more I want to chase Him and let Him control my life. Just some thoughts to ponder:)