Peace

The Lord will give strength unto His people; the Lord will bless his people with peace. Psalm 29:11

Wow....give some of that. I need me some peace. So a lot of people are wondering why my blogs lately have been....off. I was looking for a devotional for military wives on the internet and could not find one. It drove me a little crazy because I found other things but not what I was looking for. So frustrated I closed the laptop. Little voice? Yes little voice. "Do it yourself." LOL!! No problem! I am so very spiritual and know exactly what I am talking about!! HAHAHAHA!! NOT!! Besides nobody will listen. "Why do you have to have people listen? Isn't this for you? If they do, great!...if not so what?" Cool...so that is why. More for me because I need a reason to sit up and put things together in my head. I am going to just pick a verse and figure out what it means to me in a military wife and mommy sort of way and blog it:) If you wanna read, awesome!! I hope you get something. If not...cool beans:) I will still throw in my blogs about life and family so no worries all my fans who stalk me:)

Okay so back to the verse. Oh man. Definitely do not feel that peace all the time do we? Or the strength for that matter BUT if you really look at what we as military wives are doing day by day then we kind of do. We have to send our husbands away for huge amounts of time, sometimes to places that they could not come home from, and go on with life like no big deal. That is a lot of strength and for me takes a lot of peace. If you really sit and think about it how do we not scream our way into insanity? So many woman have told me that they would die if they were away from their husbands for a week much less a year. I know my strength is through Him. Trying to love my husband without putting that wall up is probably one of the most difficult things to do. At the beginning of our marriage I would keep Doug at a distance so that if anything happened to him it would not hurt as bad. I do that with most people. As we have gone through this "military" journey together, the wall has slowly started coming down which is scaring me but at the same time giving me peace to trust that God will bless me with the strength to deal with what I have too.

On a different note this is helping with other things. I have been feeling pretty inadequate lately. Not with my husband or my children but with friends and other family. When you hear over and over again that you are just not good enough...not said in so many words by people but you get the jist....you start to believe it. I know just this morning I started putting up my mental wall with someone just because I was so tired of hearing how I did not compare. I started thinking...maybe it is time for me to back off and let this one ride out without me. Then I realized I was doing what so many had done to me. If they did not like what I was going through then they ditched out. These were more or less my "christian" friends too. I don't wanna do that. I know that I just need to pray for that strength for them and that peace for me. Army life is hard. We all have our trials and tribulations. The peace and strength He has given me is awesome though. I have more then I deserve and I honestly think that everyday. I do not under any circumstances deserve anything more then God sending me to hell. Cold hard truth people. Although for some reason He sent His son to die on the cross and gave me another chance. Then on top of that handed me some of the best blessings ever. My husband. My kids. A home and secure job. He loves me a lot more then I deserve. I still pray for these 2 things everyday. Especially being a military wife and mommy. The best part is He always delivers:)