May is a BUSY month for our family. First there is Mothers Day. Then my Taylor turns 6 on the 15th. I turn 29 on the 17th and my mom is turning the big 50 on the 19th. Plus Doug and I started dating May 24th which will put us at 12 years together this month! So here is an update on most things.
Doug is finally back from a couple TDYs and is not supposed to leave for a while. This is good for me because I am now starting to get uncomfortable doing some things around the house like giving kids a bath and some of the cleaning.
Taylor only has a couple more weeks left of school and is really doing great! I cannot believe how big she is getting and there are days I stare at her thinking "Gees....when did she become such a beautiful and loving child and how on earth did she learn all this from being around me all the time?". She is still in dance class and loving it. She really is good at it too! I am not a dancer at all but she definitely has talent from somewhere. She also has found a great friend out here whom we have pay dates with at least once a week and see at church. I am SO grateful she has someone who is as great a kid as she is and has a passion for Jesus like Taylor does:)
Brecken is doing great! He is up to 5 therapies a week now and really progressing. I can see it the most in his physical therapy. His speech is going great too! He is still signing most of the time but he seems more willing to try vocalizing. He still uses his speech machine at school and the teachers and volunteer parents are always telling me how crazy it is that he knows how to use it so well! He is really loving school and he will be doing summer school. The kids are so great to him and help him all the time! I saw a little girl help him up the stairs the other day and I just feel blessed that so many other families have taught their kids to be such great kids! His occupational therapy is going well but they did have to up his time doing it. He was not progressing like they want to see which is great that they are so on top of things in seeing where he needs more help! He is being seen in June by a specialist to make sure he is all on track:)
Bailey is doing awesome! I love this age! She is zooming around the house and learning to talk and getting so crazy! She dances all the time! She is a CUDDLER big time! The other 2 kids were daddys kids but Bailey definitely is a mommy's girl:) People say she is the one kid who looks exactly like me so obviously she is super cute:)
I am doing GREAT! I am 20 weeks pregnant with another boy! Jayce Christian Levy. We are really excited to add another boy to the mix. Brecken is WAY excited. I am getting big fast but I am still feeling pretty good. I am feeling him kick and he is starting to kick where I feel it on the outside. Taylor keeps asking when she can feel him but she has not yet. I am just feeling blessed that everything is going well and life is back on track for now.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Crock Pot Queso
Ingredients
- 32 oz Velveeta
- 1 bar cream cheese
- 1 can Rotel
- 1 can Cream of Mushroom Soup
- 1 pound of ground meat (I had left over taco hamburger)
Monday, April 16, 2012
Brecken and His Brother
So today I took Brecken to therapy while my friend Gerti watched Bailey and Taylor was in school. I like Mondays because it is Brecken and mommy time. So we went to his therapies and then went to the mall to shop a little and eat lunch. We went to Old Navy and got him a couple shirts and then headed over to Chick-Fil-A. Of course he loves that place. We usually take his wheelchair in to malls since it is a lot of walking. Especially after therapy since he is pretty tired and walking like he had one too many drinks. So we are in eating our lunch and he sees a group of kids there. Some in wheelchairs. Some have Down Syndrome. Some have walkers. He points to a boy who has a mohawk and tells me he wants one. He thinks he looks cool. Then he names each one of the kids saying if they are boy or girl. He has been really liking that he can tell the difference between boys and girls now. He of course is signing all of this to me and looks at me and points to my belly and says boy. I tell him yep. It is a boy. Then he looks at me and points to my belly and then points to his wheelchair. He makes this noise when he is asking questions. Kind of like a grunt in question form so I know he is asking me a question. He again points to my belly. Points to his chair and then says boy. He looks at me and signs baby boy need chair like mine? This question totally shocks me and I can feel my eyes start to water up instantly. All of a sudden it hits me like a ton of bricks that he is wondering if since we are having a boy if he is going to be like him. I never even think that he is on this level of thinking that of course the girls do not need chairs or leg braces. They are girls....but his brother will be just like him right? Plus it totally slips my mind that his dad and I have been talking it up how he will have another boy in the house just like him. Not connecting that he thinks JUST like him. Then of course the answers start flying to my mind. My first thought is "I hope not". Then I instantly feel horrible that I had even thought that. Within seconds I pull off my mom smile and look at him and tell him that probably not. He is my only special little man with his own wheels. He smiles and starts eating his nuggets again. I look away trying to choke back tears thinking "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! How did I not see that one coming!?!?!"
I knew there would be a lot of questions concerning why he was different. I also knew he was getting to that age where he was noticing he was different. He has not said a whole lot since he goes to school with other kids in wheelchairs and walkers and leg braces. There is a little boy in his class who is in a wheelchair full time. A little girl named Alison who has leg braces and uses a walker full time. Brecken is probably the 3rd on that list with his speaking machine and leg braces. He never takes his wheelchair. The other kids are more internal differences like Autism. So he is around different kids all the time. Of course at therapy he is around other kids who are dealing with Cerebral Palsy and other handicaps so again he is around kids like himself. So really he has not been asking very much on his differences.
So this question just threw me off and really made me see that he was thinking this baby would be like him. I know once he sees the baby and how tiny he is he will realize he has a long way to go before he is walking and talking. By the time the baby is old enough to do any of this we can really explain it to him.
I just wanted to share this because I know I have a couple people with kids younger then Brecken with handicaps that read this blog and I know I am always reading blogs of moms who have kids in the same situation that Brecken is in and I like the info on what to expect. What questions the kids may have as they grow. That sort of stuff.
The rest of the day I really enjoyed with my son. We always have fun together and I am really loving that I can spend some 1 on 1 time with him. He is such an amazing kid and I love that I have all my kids the way they are. They each are so unique and really are making each other better people.
I knew there would be a lot of questions concerning why he was different. I also knew he was getting to that age where he was noticing he was different. He has not said a whole lot since he goes to school with other kids in wheelchairs and walkers and leg braces. There is a little boy in his class who is in a wheelchair full time. A little girl named Alison who has leg braces and uses a walker full time. Brecken is probably the 3rd on that list with his speaking machine and leg braces. He never takes his wheelchair. The other kids are more internal differences like Autism. So he is around different kids all the time. Of course at therapy he is around other kids who are dealing with Cerebral Palsy and other handicaps so again he is around kids like himself. So really he has not been asking very much on his differences.
So this question just threw me off and really made me see that he was thinking this baby would be like him. I know once he sees the baby and how tiny he is he will realize he has a long way to go before he is walking and talking. By the time the baby is old enough to do any of this we can really explain it to him.
I just wanted to share this because I know I have a couple people with kids younger then Brecken with handicaps that read this blog and I know I am always reading blogs of moms who have kids in the same situation that Brecken is in and I like the info on what to expect. What questions the kids may have as they grow. That sort of stuff.
The rest of the day I really enjoyed with my son. We always have fun together and I am really loving that I can spend some 1 on 1 time with him. He is such an amazing kid and I love that I have all my kids the way they are. They each are so unique and really are making each other better people.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Thoughts of an Army Wife
It sounds like an adventure! Like an amazing dream!!
He asked her to marry him and to see what there is to be seen.
She is excited to leave and start their life together on the go!
The Army can make this all happen....they can make it so.
He leaves after their vows to go to training.
Boot camp, AIT and then jumping out of planes.
FINALLY after 6 months of training they are moved to start up their life.
It is official..she is an Army wife.
Once there he starts training again.
Gone at 5 in the morning to 7 at night. She starts to feel the loneliness setting in.
After another 6 months of long hours and being alone.
He finishes training....on to real their real home!
2 years after their wedding they welcome their first child.
She is amazing. She loves this mommy thing!
9 months later he is called to go.
She knows that being married to a soldier, duty always comes first.
He does not mean to put her 2nd but this is what they signed up for.
10 months later he shows back up on their door.
Their baby girl is now almost 2.
They decide to buy a house since they will be staying here.
Then another is born! It's a little brother:)
10 days later he has to say good bye.
Another day in the military life.
As they say good bye she tries to tell herself she can do this.
She has 2 beautiful kids and has made many friends.
He will soon be home again.
He comes home when his son is 8 months old.
The kids love their daddy and in his arms they fold.
5 months later they call him to go again.
His son has just turned 1.
As they all say good bye for the 3rd time she does not cry.
She can't. She has 2 kids who need her now and she knows there is another one in her belly who needs her to be strong.
She tries to hold it together when they come to her about her son and tell her there is something wrong.
How do you tell your husband this while he is gone?
With support of her friends she finally lets him know.
They make it through this over a phone.
She survives until just before their 3rd is born.
Luckily he makes it home.
He is there to see her come into this world.
A little sister....a beautiful girl:)
He decides he wants to take another route.
He wants to stay in the Army for his son....to give him all he needs.
They pack up and move. He leaves to train again.
Only 6 months then we don't have to again.
Once they finally move she starts to realize what "adventure" she signed up for.
After 8 years realizing this is how it would be.
Moving, making friends just to leave.
Making her kids do the same
and telling them as long as they had each other they would be okay.
Sitting here now with another on the way.
Wondering if this was the adventure she had really signed up for.
Praying that there is another way....to provide a life for her kids and still have him home.
In her prayers she hears Him say....I need you here. I need you to stay.
Your family is meant to stand and fight.
I know sometimes it hurts. I know sometimes you cry.
I hear you...I hear your kids. I chose you all to stand up and be strong.
You have no idea the impact you will have in the long run.
Your family will make it. As long as you trust in Me.
Know I have you here for a reason....you will see;)
She stands up with tears in her eyes.
She knows He is right and this is their life.
They were chosen to take this on and now all she can do is be strong.
Knowing she has so many that stand with her.
Knowing that there is something about us military women that no civilian could ever understand.
A whole different way to stand by your man.
Yes it is hard and yes we want to give up....until we have that someone tell us thank you.
Thank you for taking on what so many said no to.
You walk a little bit taller when you know
you are part of that 1% that fights for families to get what you don't.
Never having to leave their families sides for months at a time.
You sometimes wish you had that but realize....
this is what your family was chosen to do.
It may not be easy but they know that too.
Being an Army wife is reward in itself
One day we will be able to stay in one place
Until then we will stand with a smile on our face
Stand and be proud of what you all do
There is no way this life is possible....without you:)
He asked her to marry him and to see what there is to be seen.
She is excited to leave and start their life together on the go!
The Army can make this all happen....they can make it so.
He leaves after their vows to go to training.
Boot camp, AIT and then jumping out of planes.
FINALLY after 6 months of training they are moved to start up their life.
It is official..she is an Army wife.
Once there he starts training again.
Gone at 5 in the morning to 7 at night. She starts to feel the loneliness setting in.
After another 6 months of long hours and being alone.
He finishes training....on to real their real home!
2 years after their wedding they welcome their first child.
She is amazing. She loves this mommy thing!
9 months later he is called to go.
She knows that being married to a soldier, duty always comes first.
He does not mean to put her 2nd but this is what they signed up for.
10 months later he shows back up on their door.
Their baby girl is now almost 2.
They decide to buy a house since they will be staying here.
Then another is born! It's a little brother:)
10 days later he has to say good bye.
Another day in the military life.
As they say good bye she tries to tell herself she can do this.
She has 2 beautiful kids and has made many friends.
He will soon be home again.
He comes home when his son is 8 months old.
The kids love their daddy and in his arms they fold.
5 months later they call him to go again.
His son has just turned 1.
As they all say good bye for the 3rd time she does not cry.
She can't. She has 2 kids who need her now and she knows there is another one in her belly who needs her to be strong.
She tries to hold it together when they come to her about her son and tell her there is something wrong.
How do you tell your husband this while he is gone?
With support of her friends she finally lets him know.
They make it through this over a phone.
She survives until just before their 3rd is born.
Luckily he makes it home.
He is there to see her come into this world.
A little sister....a beautiful girl:)
He decides he wants to take another route.
He wants to stay in the Army for his son....to give him all he needs.
They pack up and move. He leaves to train again.
Only 6 months then we don't have to again.
Once they finally move she starts to realize what "adventure" she signed up for.
After 8 years realizing this is how it would be.
Moving, making friends just to leave.
Making her kids do the same
and telling them as long as they had each other they would be okay.
Sitting here now with another on the way.
Wondering if this was the adventure she had really signed up for.
Praying that there is another way....to provide a life for her kids and still have him home.
In her prayers she hears Him say....I need you here. I need you to stay.
Your family is meant to stand and fight.
I know sometimes it hurts. I know sometimes you cry.
I hear you...I hear your kids. I chose you all to stand up and be strong.
You have no idea the impact you will have in the long run.
Your family will make it. As long as you trust in Me.
Know I have you here for a reason....you will see;)
She stands up with tears in her eyes.
She knows He is right and this is their life.
They were chosen to take this on and now all she can do is be strong.
Knowing she has so many that stand with her.
Knowing that there is something about us military women that no civilian could ever understand.
A whole different way to stand by your man.
Yes it is hard and yes we want to give up....until we have that someone tell us thank you.
Thank you for taking on what so many said no to.
You walk a little bit taller when you know
you are part of that 1% that fights for families to get what you don't.
Never having to leave their families sides for months at a time.
You sometimes wish you had that but realize....
this is what your family was chosen to do.
It may not be easy but they know that too.
Being an Army wife is reward in itself
One day we will be able to stay in one place
Until then we will stand with a smile on our face
Stand and be proud of what you all do
There is no way this life is possible....without you:)
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Definition of Supermom
Society definition: a mother who can cook, clean, do laundry and raise her children to be perfect angels AND look amazing doing so! I am talking hair DONE, make up perfect and no barf, pee or spit up to be seen on her amazing outfit in which is probably a size 2.
My definition: having the same amount of kids at the end of the day that you had at the beginning of the day.
We have all seen it. The mom that seems to have it all together. Her kids are well behaved in their clean clothes. She is well made up and looks rested PLUS she NEVER raises her voice to her children and they all listen!! Yeah that mom...the one we secretly wish one of her kids will randomly throw themselves down and start screaming.
Although do we really know what is going on behind closed doors? I must admit I am a very open book about my life. Mostly because I remember walking in and seeing those moms and thinking I was not good enough because I could not do all that. That is when I knew I wanted to be the type of woman and mom that told everything. That let other women know WE ALL FEEL THAT WAY SOMETIMES!! I remember one time saying to a friend that my kids were driving me nuts. She turned around and said she did not understand because her children were blessings (which they are) and she never got sick of being with them. My first thought was LIAR!!! LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR!!! My second thought was I must be a horrible mother. For needing a break from my kids. My mom used to tell me she loved me and that would never change but there were days she did not like me. I never understood this until I had kids. It seems like a mean thing to say but once you have kids you get it! I love my kids with a fire I never knew I had until I had kids but there are days they drive me so nuts that my like meter is way low.
So one thing I never did was say anything to this girl again about my kids. I also did not want to be this girl. This made me realize I did not want girls to think they could not have a bad day and talk to me about it. I did not want them to feel bad about having those feelings we ALL have as mothers! If we were perfect in loving our kids we would not need Gods grace to get us through the day and I need A LOT of Gods grace to get through my days!
Now we need to realize as women and mothers that we need us time. We need that time where we go and sit in a tub with bubbles or go get our hair did. There is nothing wrong with needing a break! I tried the supermom thing. I had friends asking to help me and I said no. I can do this. Haul all 3 of my kids to school, Breckens therapies, grocery store....you name it I could do it. I did not need help. I cooked and cleaned. I even started feeling bad because I did not home school my kids so I must not be doing enough so I started homeschooling them on top of their public school classes. I am a student myself so I had to do my homework. Plus a Bible study! I also needed to be a wife which means I have to be pretty and energized at night....lol. All this while I am pregnant with #4. I am so supermom...until week 2. I am so exhausted I am yelling at my kids over little things. My husband says one thing and I am freaking out on him. My grades are not doing great and I am behind on my Bible lessons. When I go out though I look pretty awesome. I walk into therapy and I have all 3 kids and my pregnant belly and I am Breckens cheerleader while taking care of the girls. Other people are commenting on how I am a "supermom" and handling all so well....especially since my husband is out of state and I am going at it alone at this point. Little do they know the mask comes off as soon as we hit the car and I am back to crazy mom.
This is where I realize I cannot do this. I can't. I don't like the mom I am turning into or the wife I am becoming. I do not like me at all. This is when I get on my knees and beg God to help me ask for help. I need help.
First step....prayer. I get up to spend even 5 minutes on my knees praying for patience and energy! I notice a HUGE difference as soon as I start this. Then I ask my friends for help. I have a friend who takes the girls while I take Brecken to therapy so I can 100% work with him and his therapists. I have her take the younger ones while I take Taylor to dance so I can focus on her and do some homework. She picks up my son from school once a week and keeps him all day so I can go to my Bible Study and keep up with the work and have a Bailey day. I have another friend who brings us dinner once a week just to help me out. I stopped feeling bad because I needed help!
Now these women to me are supermoms! They have shown me that just by showing the love of Christ to me that they are raising some amazing kids in the mean time and also showing myself and my kids how to treat people:)
So do I have to do all and be all? Nope. Do I still compare myself to other moms. Yes. Although I stop myself and tell myself that I am doing fine:) My kids are good kids and as long as I keep looking up instead of around, I will not be supermom but I do know where to point my kids to get their Super dad. Up:)
My definition: having the same amount of kids at the end of the day that you had at the beginning of the day.
We have all seen it. The mom that seems to have it all together. Her kids are well behaved in their clean clothes. She is well made up and looks rested PLUS she NEVER raises her voice to her children and they all listen!! Yeah that mom...the one we secretly wish one of her kids will randomly throw themselves down and start screaming.
Although do we really know what is going on behind closed doors? I must admit I am a very open book about my life. Mostly because I remember walking in and seeing those moms and thinking I was not good enough because I could not do all that. That is when I knew I wanted to be the type of woman and mom that told everything. That let other women know WE ALL FEEL THAT WAY SOMETIMES!! I remember one time saying to a friend that my kids were driving me nuts. She turned around and said she did not understand because her children were blessings (which they are) and she never got sick of being with them. My first thought was LIAR!!! LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR!!! My second thought was I must be a horrible mother. For needing a break from my kids. My mom used to tell me she loved me and that would never change but there were days she did not like me. I never understood this until I had kids. It seems like a mean thing to say but once you have kids you get it! I love my kids with a fire I never knew I had until I had kids but there are days they drive me so nuts that my like meter is way low.
So one thing I never did was say anything to this girl again about my kids. I also did not want to be this girl. This made me realize I did not want girls to think they could not have a bad day and talk to me about it. I did not want them to feel bad about having those feelings we ALL have as mothers! If we were perfect in loving our kids we would not need Gods grace to get us through the day and I need A LOT of Gods grace to get through my days!
Now we need to realize as women and mothers that we need us time. We need that time where we go and sit in a tub with bubbles or go get our hair did. There is nothing wrong with needing a break! I tried the supermom thing. I had friends asking to help me and I said no. I can do this. Haul all 3 of my kids to school, Breckens therapies, grocery store....you name it I could do it. I did not need help. I cooked and cleaned. I even started feeling bad because I did not home school my kids so I must not be doing enough so I started homeschooling them on top of their public school classes. I am a student myself so I had to do my homework. Plus a Bible study! I also needed to be a wife which means I have to be pretty and energized at night....lol. All this while I am pregnant with #4. I am so supermom...until week 2. I am so exhausted I am yelling at my kids over little things. My husband says one thing and I am freaking out on him. My grades are not doing great and I am behind on my Bible lessons. When I go out though I look pretty awesome. I walk into therapy and I have all 3 kids and my pregnant belly and I am Breckens cheerleader while taking care of the girls. Other people are commenting on how I am a "supermom" and handling all so well....especially since my husband is out of state and I am going at it alone at this point. Little do they know the mask comes off as soon as we hit the car and I am back to crazy mom.
This is where I realize I cannot do this. I can't. I don't like the mom I am turning into or the wife I am becoming. I do not like me at all. This is when I get on my knees and beg God to help me ask for help. I need help.
First step....prayer. I get up to spend even 5 minutes on my knees praying for patience and energy! I notice a HUGE difference as soon as I start this. Then I ask my friends for help. I have a friend who takes the girls while I take Brecken to therapy so I can 100% work with him and his therapists. I have her take the younger ones while I take Taylor to dance so I can focus on her and do some homework. She picks up my son from school once a week and keeps him all day so I can go to my Bible Study and keep up with the work and have a Bailey day. I have another friend who brings us dinner once a week just to help me out. I stopped feeling bad because I needed help!
Now these women to me are supermoms! They have shown me that just by showing the love of Christ to me that they are raising some amazing kids in the mean time and also showing myself and my kids how to treat people:)
So do I have to do all and be all? Nope. Do I still compare myself to other moms. Yes. Although I stop myself and tell myself that I am doing fine:) My kids are good kids and as long as I keep looking up instead of around, I will not be supermom but I do know where to point my kids to get their Super dad. Up:)
Monday, March 12, 2012
Prayer Requests:)
Oh so much going on. First Bailey should be getting her labs back any day to figure out what is going on. We are hoping it is nothing but it would be nice to know why she is doing what she is doing.
They are going to start Brecken on eating lunch at therapy. Also they would like to do a swallow test to make sure his facial muscles are getting stronger. He has never had a problem eating before so he should be good.
Baby is all good and I am about 12 weeks but this is where we have the bleeding issues normally. Pray we do not have any of those problems! We lost baby #2 due to the bleeding and Breckens CP was caused by a blood clot and I had a lot of bleeding with Bailey and they had told me we lost her too.
Taylor is doing great but I think she is feeling a little left out with me being pregnant and dealing with Breckens therapies and Bailey being so little still. Pray daddy and I can show her how much we love her and appreciate what a big girl she is! We will be trying to take that girl to Disneyland for her birthday! Well I think that is it for now:) Thanks:)
They are going to start Brecken on eating lunch at therapy. Also they would like to do a swallow test to make sure his facial muscles are getting stronger. He has never had a problem eating before so he should be good.
Baby is all good and I am about 12 weeks but this is where we have the bleeding issues normally. Pray we do not have any of those problems! We lost baby #2 due to the bleeding and Breckens CP was caused by a blood clot and I had a lot of bleeding with Bailey and they had told me we lost her too.
Taylor is doing great but I think she is feeling a little left out with me being pregnant and dealing with Breckens therapies and Bailey being so little still. Pray daddy and I can show her how much we love her and appreciate what a big girl she is! We will be trying to take that girl to Disneyland for her birthday! Well I think that is it for now:) Thanks:)
Friday, March 9, 2012
The Myths of Sign Language and Speaking Devices
So Brecken is dong GREAT on his signing and his speaking machine. We obviously have people who comment on if he does this stuff he will not talk. So I decided to write a quick quip on that being a complete myth. As humans we be LAZY! Learning to sign with your hands and figure out a machine to talk for you by looking for pictures and pushing is a lot harder then just saying the words so actually if a child wants to get his or her lazy on, talking is the way to go. I have found signing and that machine are A LOT harder then just saying a word. Research also shows that kids who sign actually have a wider vocabulary once they start talking and are much more intelligent speakers. Plus the strength in their hands are better being that they are using muscles that us normal people do not use. The speaking machine that people think may make my son lazy actually will help him learn to talk. The repetitive speaking of the word will help him to hear it and copy the sounds. I have had multiple speech therapists tell us (all of his have agreed) that it is the opposite of what people think and that it actually helps not hinders. As a tiny bit of proof my 19 month old learned sign first from just watching us teach Brecken. She signed everything and her and Brecken sign to each other all the time however she speaks to us. She does have conversations in sign with Brecken but with us she does vocally speak. Also keep in mind that my 19 month old daughter can now speak 2 languages:) ASL is an actual language so she is considered bilingual with the rest of us:) I too used to think that signing was going to make my kids fall behind and that they would not speak on time. Let me tell you the first thing to do before making this assumption is to get educated! Most people who make these false assumptions are just not educated on the subject whatsoever. First get educated and then realize that these things are to help! Not hurt.
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