Society definition: a mother who can cook, clean, do laundry and raise her children to be perfect angels AND look amazing doing so! I am talking hair DONE, make up perfect and no barf, pee or spit up to be seen on her amazing outfit in which is probably a size 2.
My definition: having the same amount of kids at the end of the day that you had at the beginning of the day.
We have all seen it. The mom that seems to have it all together. Her kids are well behaved in their clean clothes. She is well made up and looks rested PLUS she NEVER raises her voice to her children and they all listen!! Yeah that mom...the one we secretly wish one of her kids will randomly throw themselves down and start screaming.
Although do we really know what is going on behind closed doors? I must admit I am a very open book about my life. Mostly because I remember walking in and seeing those moms and thinking I was not good enough because I could not do all that. That is when I knew I wanted to be the type of woman and mom that told everything. That let other women know WE ALL FEEL THAT WAY SOMETIMES!! I remember one time saying to a friend that my kids were driving me nuts. She turned around and said she did not understand because her children were blessings (which they are) and she never got sick of being with them. My first thought was LIAR!!! LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR!!! My second thought was I must be a horrible mother. For needing a break from my kids. My mom used to tell me she loved me and that would never change but there were days she did not like me. I never understood this until I had kids. It seems like a mean thing to say but once you have kids you get it! I love my kids with a fire I never knew I had until I had kids but there are days they drive me so nuts that my like meter is way low.
So one thing I never did was say anything to this girl again about my kids. I also did not want to be this girl. This made me realize I did not want girls to think they could not have a bad day and talk to me about it. I did not want them to feel bad about having those feelings we ALL have as mothers! If we were perfect in loving our kids we would not need Gods grace to get us through the day and I need A LOT of Gods grace to get through my days!
Now we need to realize as women and mothers that we need us time. We need that time where we go and sit in a tub with bubbles or go get our hair did. There is nothing wrong with needing a break! I tried the supermom thing. I had friends asking to help me and I said no. I can do this. Haul all 3 of my kids to school, Breckens therapies, grocery store....you name it I could do it. I did not need help. I cooked and cleaned. I even started feeling bad because I did not home school my kids so I must not be doing enough so I started homeschooling them on top of their public school classes. I am a student myself so I had to do my homework. Plus a Bible study! I also needed to be a wife which means I have to be pretty and energized at night....lol. All this while I am pregnant with #4. I am so supermom...until week 2. I am so exhausted I am yelling at my kids over little things. My husband says one thing and I am freaking out on him. My grades are not doing great and I am behind on my Bible lessons. When I go out though I look pretty awesome. I walk into therapy and I have all 3 kids and my pregnant belly and I am Breckens cheerleader while taking care of the girls. Other people are commenting on how I am a "supermom" and handling all so well....especially since my husband is out of state and I am going at it alone at this point. Little do they know the mask comes off as soon as we hit the car and I am back to crazy mom.
This is where I realize I cannot do this. I can't. I don't like the mom I am turning into or the wife I am becoming. I do not like me at all. This is when I get on my knees and beg God to help me ask for help. I need help.
First step....prayer. I get up to spend even 5 minutes on my knees praying for patience and energy! I notice a HUGE difference as soon as I start this. Then I ask my friends for help. I have a friend who takes the girls while I take Brecken to therapy so I can 100% work with him and his therapists. I have her take the younger ones while I take Taylor to dance so I can focus on her and do some homework. She picks up my son from school once a week and keeps him all day so I can go to my Bible Study and keep up with the work and have a Bailey day. I have another friend who brings us dinner once a week just to help me out. I stopped feeling bad because I needed help!
Now these women to me are supermoms! They have shown me that just by showing the love of Christ to me that they are raising some amazing kids in the mean time and also showing myself and my kids how to treat people:)
So do I have to do all and be all? Nope. Do I still compare myself to other moms. Yes. Although I stop myself and tell myself that I am doing fine:) My kids are good kids and as long as I keep looking up instead of around, I will not be supermom but I do know where to point my kids to get their Super dad. Up:)
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