Brecken and His Brother

So today I took Brecken to therapy while my friend Gerti watched Bailey and Taylor was in school.  I like Mondays because it is Brecken and mommy time.  So we went to his therapies and then went to the mall to shop a little and eat lunch.  We went to Old Navy and got him a couple shirts and then headed over to Chick-Fil-A.  Of course he loves that place.  We usually take his wheelchair in to malls since it is a lot of walking.  Especially after therapy since he is pretty tired and walking like he had one too many drinks.  So we are in eating our lunch and he sees a group of kids there.  Some in wheelchairs.  Some have Down Syndrome.  Some have walkers.  He points to a boy who has a mohawk and tells me he wants one.  He thinks he looks cool.  Then he names each one of the kids saying if they are boy or girl.  He has been really liking that he can tell the difference between boys and girls now.  He of course is signing all of this to me and looks at me and points to my belly and says boy.  I tell him yep.  It is a boy.  Then he looks at me and points to my belly and then points to his wheelchair.  He makes this noise when he is asking questions.  Kind of like a grunt in question form so I know he is asking me a question.  He again points to my belly.  Points to his chair and then says boy.  He looks at me and signs baby boy need chair like mine?  This question totally shocks me and I can feel my eyes start to water up instantly.  All of a sudden it hits me like a ton of bricks that he is wondering if since we are having a boy if he is going to be like him.  I never even think that he is on this level of thinking that of course the girls do not need chairs or leg braces.  They are girls....but his brother will be just like him right?  Plus it totally slips my mind that his dad and I have been talking it up how he will have another boy in the house just like him.  Not connecting that he thinks JUST like him.  Then of course the answers start flying to my mind.  My first thought is "I hope not".  Then I instantly feel horrible that I had even thought that.  Within seconds I pull off my mom smile and look at him and tell him that probably not.  He is my only special little man with his own wheels.  He smiles and starts eating his nuggets again.  I look away trying to choke back tears thinking "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!  How did I not see that one coming!?!?!" 

I knew there would be a lot of questions concerning why he was different.  I also knew he was getting to that age where he was noticing he was different.  He has not said a whole lot since he goes to school with other kids in wheelchairs and walkers and leg braces.  There is a little boy in his class who is in a wheelchair full time.  A little girl named Alison who has leg braces and uses a walker full time.  Brecken is probably the 3rd on that list with his speaking machine and leg braces.  He never takes his wheelchair.  The other kids are more internal differences like Autism.  So he is around different kids all the time.  Of course at therapy he is around other kids who are dealing with Cerebral Palsy and other handicaps so again he is around kids like himself.  So really he has not been asking very much on his differences.

So this question just threw me off and really made me see that he was thinking this baby would be like him.  I know once he sees the baby and how tiny he is he will realize he has a long way to go before he is walking and talking.  By the time the baby is old enough to do any of this we can really explain it to him.

I just wanted to share this because I know I have a couple people with kids younger then Brecken with handicaps that read this blog and I know I am always reading blogs of moms who have kids in the same situation that Brecken is in and I like the info on what to expect.  What questions the kids may have as they grow.  That sort of stuff.

The rest of the day I really enjoyed with my son.  We always have fun together and I am really loving that I can spend some 1 on 1 time with him.  He is such an amazing kid and I love that I have all my kids the way they are.  They each are so unique and really are making each other better people.