Brecken my love:)

Hey everybody! So Brecken is doing great! I know we did not tell anyone because we wanted to see what we were dealing with first. A couple weeks ago while doing the ultrasound to see why Breckens testicles did not discend they had found a lump in his left inaugural lymph node. Of course hearing lump and lymph node we got a little freaked. The doctor explained to me that it could be a number of things. If it shrinks then that was a great thing!! If it grew...not so good. So he wanted to check him in a month to see which way it was going. I apologize that I kept this to myself from a lot of family and friends but I was in a real struggle with God at that point and needed to just roll it over in my head for a while. Anyways at mommies group last Tuesday I had told them about it so we could cover Brecken in prayer before Fridays appointment. So we went in Friday and the prayers were all answered. He could not feel the lump anymore without an ultrasound which in turn meant it had shrunk!! Brecken still needs to go in every couple months for a couple years just to make sure it does not return. His doctor is extremely confident it will not return!! So thank you to the ones who prayed and I know I should not have tried to figure this out on my own but if you know me you know I am still trying to overcome thinking I can do it all alone. Doug and I are just extremely relieved and thankful everything is okay.

Come on baby!!

So I went in for my ultrasound to find out what we were having and NOTHING!! The baby was so curled up we could not see anything. I was so bummed because I want to go shopping:( Well I guess the good news is that I get another ultrasound. Plus we have our 3D ultrasound next week so we should be able to hopefully get a better view. Bad baby!

Spoon in my eye!!

That would feel better right now. Brecken has been SOOOO fussy lately and it is driving me up the wall!!! Today started off horrible, got a little better, and then right back in the toilet. Brecken woke up screaming. He stayed like that until I finally dropped him off at Taylors preschool. Then I ran errands and went to lunch with Jen which was the good part. Then I went to get the kids. Taylors class is usually on the playground so I usually go in and get her stuff and then get Brecken so he can swing for a while. So I go in to do that and when I come out Taylor is in tears with her teacher talking to her. Well if you know my daughter then I figured she fell while running somewhere. The teacher came over and was talking to me about what had happened. Apparently Taylor saw my car and got out of the gate to come over to it. When she could not find me then she started crying saying she was lost. Now this is not a very big preschool and thank God the parking lot is tiny and in the back and right next to the playground. Her teacher saw her and ran out to get her. Her teacher kept apologizing saying there was no excuse for her to have let Taylor get out of the gate. Taylor is a smart girl and knows to stay by the car or to find an adult. So she ran to me crying saying she could not find me and she was scared. I had to talk to her about asking Ms. Sharon or Ms. Monica where I was and to never ever go with any adult that was not mommy or daddy or one of her teachers. While doing this I totally lost my balance while holding Brecken and fell forward. Did not realize how front heavy I am getting. Anyways Taylor got over it and everything is okay.

Might as well get the baby news out of the way for this week. We find out next week what we are having. I will be 19 weeks tomorrow. I am in so much pain that I am having a hard time sleeping. I can only sit up and sleep which is starting to hurt my butt bone. I cannot wait until my mother in law gets here. I walk like I have something up my butt. I only have pain in my crotch and the tops of my legs. Baby is still doing good though and I am excited to find out the sex!!

I hate being sick!!!

Yuck! I have been throwing up since 3 this morning. I think I got what Taylor had. I do not think it is pregnancy related. Now I am sitting here eating bread praying that it goes away. I have been cramping up too which is not helping. Not my uterus but my stomach and stuff. I guess I would rather have this then other stuff I have dealt with in this pregnancy. Very surprisingly I am not in pain from my pregnancy which is odd that this took it away for now. Anyways I am going to sit on the couch today and pray very very very very hard that this goes away. So far Brecken has not gotten it. Oy today would have been an awesome day for Doug to be here so I could go back to bed. Taylor still has it a little but she isn't talking about it as much so it seems to be getting better. Please let us all get better for school tomorrow. I do not think I can handle another house day.

18 weeks!

Okay so I am almost half way there!! This pregnancy is going so fast which means this deployment is going fast!! Anyways baby is kicking still. Always a good sign. Still not super hard but enough for me to know there is someone in there. I am still extremely sore. I am not sure if sore is the word. It is a little more painful. Grin and bear it I guess. My doctor was not happy this last time I went in. She really wishes I had someone to help me out. I had told her I tried. She just wished I had someone dependable here. I laughed and said yeah me too. What can you do right? Plus a lot of the moms here are pregnant themselves or have a hard time understanding the situation which is totally understandable. I did not get it until I was in the situation of having 2 kids with a deployed husband while pregnant. The great thing has been that I have made a lot of new friends lately and I am really excited to be getting in with some older mamas! I am just in that funky not young but not old age. I had Ellisa over for dinner last night and it was a lot of fun:) Other then that just trying to get through another deployment and loving the weather being nicer. That has helped. Just hoping my days keep getting faster!!

Mother of the Year?

Haha. So today is such a nice day and of course my children will not stay still or be quiet long enough for me to get homework done that is due at midnight in which I have obviously procrastinated on. I really wanted to take them to the park but it looks like a good old sit at home and catch up day.

So I am in a pickle. (Been craving pickles a lot.) Taylor sleeps in her bed but she has been crawling into my bed a lot and I am never fully aware that she is even there until I wake up. I very much dislike sharing my bed with kids because I believe that is the one place for Doug and I to be husband and wife and they should not be on there until after 6 in the morning. She usually kicks and stuff which makes me even more nervous being pregnant and her feet end up kicking the belly. Anywho she has not been kicking a whole lot and I actually have not minded her in there. So I know I need to kick her out and make her sleep in her own bed and as I get bigger I will need the room anyways. I just hope I am not totally messing her up by not kicking her out now.

I miss Doug...a lot. I just want these next couple of months to fly by. Hopefully they will. I am very tired of being alone (in which I mean another adult in the house. I know I have many other living things here). It is getting nice outside which is helping. Dougs mom will be here soon which will be nice. Oy Army life is the pits sometimes. If only we were rich. Someday...someday.

Baby Appointment

So I went in today and all looks good. The kids school got canceled because of...rainish drizzle...so I had to haul them in with me. Taylor kept asking to see the baby. She asked if we could have a Bailey. She thought it was really cool when they checked the heartbeat. Then of course she had to explain to the doctor that she will be 4 in May and that she is older then the baby and Brecken. It always makes me laugh to have her with me at those appointments. Anyways everything looks great and I will be making an ultrasound appointment for my 20 week so we should soon be finding out the sex. Very exciting:)