Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Mothering ALL my kids!

So I just saw a post from a mom whom I started following who has a special needs son.  Same thing as Brecken and about the same severity.  Her son is 9 now so I really like reading what she is going through as a mom and how he is doing being that Brecken seems to be on the same track.  While I agree with some stuff she says there are certain things I do disagree with.  Today she had written an article about how mothering is the most important thing for a special needs child.  Yep...I agree....however the article was so focused on her special needs son there was no mention of her daughter.  I often do this too when I get on a role about how hard it is to mother a special needs kiddo.  I love my son so much and I hope he knows how much I adore him and yes taking him to all his doctors, therapies and such is a lot.  I never imagined I would be doing this once I had a family of my own.  My life literally revolves around Brecken more then any of my other kids because of his needs.  I often catch myself hearing other moms talk about how hard their day is with all they have to do and think "try throwing a couple therapies on top of that" or "yeah in the middle of helping one kid with homework I am rushing my son into a warm bath because he is having painful spasms in his legs".  I try not to do this because I understand how hard being a mom is period.

As of now yes my boys take more of my time but my girls are definitely taking more of my mental sanity.  Haha.   So personally I think mothering is the most important job no matter what.  For all 4 of my kids.  I try and get to where they all have something in their lives.  Taylor is in gymnastics so that she has something that is for her and no one else.  We try and take her out on dates so she does not have to be surrounded with "Brecken" on everything.  She enjoys his therapies and helping me with him but we have had her comment on "why does Brecken have to have Cerebral Palsy".  She never says it in a mean way or anything like that but she sees other families and knows that they do not have to do a lot of the stuff we have to.

I KNOW God gave me her as my first child for a reason.  She is an amazing big sister and a huge help to me.  Especially since we live the military life and my husband will be gone for days to months to years at a time.  I know she does the same exact thing I do too though.  She looks at other family's and wonders how it would be if we could be more "normal".  Although being 6 she does not realize that all family's have their challenges. 

Bailey on the other hand is my kiddo who knows something is up with Brecken but she is not quite sure what it is.  She pushes him around and tells him to keep up which is awesome because it does push him.  I have a feeling she is going to be the one who pushes him the hardest and be in his face when he gets older telling him to get up and try harder when he wants to quit.  She is a crazy stubborn girl who loves her big brother and will want to see him do his best no matter what.

Jayce already pushes Brecken.  Brecken sees him and gets that he is his big brother and I see him wanting to be the best big brother he can for him which in turn makes Brecken push harder.

So all in all YES parenting a special needs child is important however not forgetting that there are other ones looking to you to be the mom you need to be is just as important.  Making time for my other son and my girls is just as important to me as being the strong mama Breck needs.

I love my kids and yes they ALL drive me nuts sometimes but they are ALL worth it every single day!  Every night when I go to bed I always think my worst days with my kids is 1,000 times better then the best days I had without them.  Being a mom is hard and no joke but it is a job only the amazing and strong can handle and I say if you still have the same number of kids at the end of the day that you started the day with...you are super mom!! 

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