Mothering ALL my kids!

So I just saw a post from a mom whom I started following who has a special needs son.  Same thing as Brecken and about the same severity.  Her son is 9 now so I really like reading what she is going through as a mom and how he is doing being that Brecken seems to be on the same track.  While I agree with some stuff she says there are certain things I do disagree with.  Today she had written an article about how mothering is the most important thing for a special needs child.  Yep...I agree....however the article was so focused on her special needs son there was no mention of her daughter.  I often do this too when I get on a role about how hard it is to mother a special needs kiddo.  I love my son so much and I hope he knows how much I adore him and yes taking him to all his doctors, therapies and such is a lot.  I never imagined I would be doing this once I had a family of my own.  My life literally revolves around Brecken more then any of my other kids because of his needs.  I often catch myself hearing other moms talk about how hard their day is with all they have to do and think "try throwing a couple therapies on top of that" or "yeah in the middle of helping one kid with homework I am rushing my son into a warm bath because he is having painful spasms in his legs".  I try not to do this because I understand how hard being a mom is period.

As of now yes my boys take more of my time but my girls are definitely taking more of my mental sanity.  Haha.   So personally I think mothering is the most important job no matter what.  For all 4 of my kids.  I try and get to where they all have something in their lives.  Taylor is in gymnastics so that she has something that is for her and no one else.  We try and take her out on dates so she does not have to be surrounded with "Brecken" on everything.  She enjoys his therapies and helping me with him but we have had her comment on "why does Brecken have to have Cerebral Palsy".  She never says it in a mean way or anything like that but she sees other families and knows that they do not have to do a lot of the stuff we have to.

I KNOW God gave me her as my first child for a reason.  She is an amazing big sister and a huge help to me.  Especially since we live the military life and my husband will be gone for days to months to years at a time.  I know she does the same exact thing I do too though.  She looks at other family's and wonders how it would be if we could be more "normal".  Although being 6 she does not realize that all family's have their challenges. 

Bailey on the other hand is my kiddo who knows something is up with Brecken but she is not quite sure what it is.  She pushes him around and tells him to keep up which is awesome because it does push him.  I have a feeling she is going to be the one who pushes him the hardest and be in his face when he gets older telling him to get up and try harder when he wants to quit.  She is a crazy stubborn girl who loves her big brother and will want to see him do his best no matter what.

Jayce already pushes Brecken.  Brecken sees him and gets that he is his big brother and I see him wanting to be the best big brother he can for him which in turn makes Brecken push harder.

So all in all YES parenting a special needs child is important however not forgetting that there are other ones looking to you to be the mom you need to be is just as important.  Making time for my other son and my girls is just as important to me as being the strong mama Breck needs.

I love my kids and yes they ALL drive me nuts sometimes but they are ALL worth it every single day!  Every night when I go to bed I always think my worst days with my kids is 1,000 times better then the best days I had without them.  Being a mom is hard and no joke but it is a job only the amazing and strong can handle and I say if you still have the same number of kids at the end of the day that you started the day with...you are super mom!! 

Never Say Never

I read this on my friends blog and actually remember her saying some of her "I will nevers" and I am SO sure people remember me saying mine so I figure this was a good list because it is very true.  So here are some things I have said I would never do as a mom and now I realize I never ever say that I will never because I end up doing it.  I also will never be that mom who says "My child would never..." because as soon as I say that they are doing it....lol.  A lot of these are the same as my friends so here is my list.

1.  I will never let my house go more then a week without being cleaned....HAHA!
2.  I will never have the TV be a babysitter for my kids.  Yeah that one did not last at all...lol.
3.  I will never bribe them to be good since they should always just be good and listen (yeah ask my kids what they got for our last grocery trip).
4.  I will never yell at my kids or say things my mom used to say....HA!
5.  I will never say "because I said so"
6.  I will never give my kids junk food in the mornings (again ask my kids what they got for our last grocery trip...lol)
7.  I will never pretend like I did not see something they are not supposed to do just to get out of disciplining them....oy.


Here are a couple things I think I have held strong too which I know a lot of moms have since I am surrounded my awesome mamas.

1.  I will not allow my kids to not hear me tell them I love them often.
2.  I will not go very long without hugging them.
3.  I will not allow them to think I do not mess up...often...I am trying my best and there are days....there are days I just think "wow how on EARTH are they turning out so good with me as their mom".
4.  I will NEVER EVER forget to thank God for them and for allowing me to be their mom.

Jayce Christian Levy

 Jayce Christian Levy was born Saturday September 1st 2012 at 04:07.  He is 5 pounds and 14 ounces and 19 1/4 inches long.  So I went into labor and delivery with pain in my c-section scar and they wanted to keep me overnight.  So they doped me up with Vicodin and Ambien and as soon as I started to get all loopy they decided they wanted to go ahead and pull little man out.  So I do not remember a lot of what happened.  Doug said I was pretty out of it and I kept falling asleep during the delivery.  I remember hearing him cry and then they took him to NICU.  As soon as I got out of recovery I heard the news when my little man was not in my room.

 Jayce has Transient Tachypnea of the Newborn (TTN).  He has fluid in his lungs.  This is actually a pretty common thing for kids who are born via c-section.  They just do not get that squeeze to get all the fluid out that a vaginal birth canal provides.  So as of right now they have him in an incubator with a mask strapped over his nose and a tube down his throat.  He is hooked up to monitors and has an IV.  At first I was really upset about this (who would not be seeing their kid hooked up to all of this stuff) but he is getting better and it is all working.  I have not been able to nurse and I still have not gotten to hold him.  I really want to hold my baby boy!  So for now he is still in NICU and I am in my room by my lonesome.  God is good and we have had some amazing people come to our side!  Gary and Charlene Lewis and their girls have pulled together to watch our kids while we are in the hospital.  We have had girls calling to get meals sent to us once we get home.  We have massive amounts of prayers coming our way!  I am confident Jayce is going to heal completely and quickly from this!  Doug has the next month off while we get through this and his work has been amazing on letting him do what he has to do.  Anyways I am a proud mama and excited he has joined us!!  So early too!  His due date was the 25th of September and the c-section was for the 18th but then they moved him up to the 6th and he still did not think that was soon enough so decided the 1st worked best for him.  I am just thankful he waited until September so I got my September baby!!

 Brecken and Taylor have seen him and Taylor was excited to be able to touch him.  Brecken did not want to touch him but he did not want to leave his side either.  I think he was afraid he may hurt him.  I just cannot wait to get my son home and have all the kids together:)  Soon.....soon!