Definition of Supermom

Society definition: a mother who can cook, clean, do laundry and raise her children to be perfect angels AND look amazing doing so!  I am talking hair DONE, make up perfect and no barf, pee or spit up to be seen on her amazing outfit in which is probably a size 2. 

My definition: having the same amount of kids at the end of the day that you had at the beginning of the day. 

We have all seen it.  The mom that seems to have it all together.  Her kids are well behaved in their clean clothes.  She is well made up and looks rested PLUS she NEVER raises her voice to her children and they all listen!!  Yeah that mom...the one we secretly wish one of her kids will randomly throw themselves down and start screaming.

Although do we really know what is going on behind closed doors?  I must admit I am a very open book about my life.  Mostly because I remember walking in and seeing those moms and thinking I was not good enough because I could not do all that.  That is when I knew I wanted to be the type of woman and mom that told everything.  That let other women know WE ALL FEEL THAT WAY SOMETIMES!!  I remember one time saying to a friend that my kids were driving me nuts.  She turned around and said she did not understand because her children were blessings (which they are) and she never got sick of being with them.  My first thought was LIAR!!!  LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR!!!  My second thought was I must be a horrible mother.  For needing a break from my kids.  My mom used to tell me she loved me and that would never change but there were days she did not like me.  I never understood this until I had kids.  It seems like a mean thing to say but once you have kids you get it!  I love my kids with a fire I never knew I had until I had kids but there are days they drive me so nuts that my like meter is way low. 

So one thing I never did was say anything to this girl again about my kids.  I also did not want to be this girl.  This made me realize I did not want girls to think they could not have a bad day and talk to me about it.  I did not want them to feel bad about having those feelings we ALL have as mothers!  If we were perfect in loving our kids we would not need Gods grace to get us through the day and I need A LOT of Gods grace to get through my days! 

Now we need to realize as women and mothers that we need us time.  We need that time where we go and sit in a tub with bubbles or go get our hair did.  There is nothing wrong with needing a break!  I tried the supermom thing.  I had friends asking to help me and I said no.  I can do this.  Haul all 3 of my kids to school, Breckens therapies, grocery store....you name it I could do it.  I did not need help.  I cooked and cleaned.  I even started feeling bad because I did not home school my kids so I must not be doing enough so I started homeschooling them on top of their public school classes.  I am a student myself so I had to do my homework.  Plus a Bible study!  I also needed to be a wife which means I have to be pretty and energized at night....lol.  All this while I am pregnant with #4.  I am so supermom...until week 2.  I am so exhausted I am yelling at my kids over little things.  My husband says one thing and I am freaking out on him.  My grades are not doing great and I am behind on my Bible lessons.  When I go out though I look pretty awesome.  I walk into therapy and I have all 3 kids and my pregnant belly and I am Breckens cheerleader while taking care of the girls.  Other people are commenting on how I am a "supermom" and handling all so well....especially since my husband is out of state and I am going at it alone at this point.  Little do they know the mask comes off as soon as we hit the car and I am back to crazy mom. 

This is where I realize I cannot do this.  I can't.  I don't like the mom I am turning into or the wife I am becoming.  I do not like me at all.  This is when I get on my knees and beg God to help me ask for help.  I need help. 

First step....prayer.  I get up to spend even 5 minutes on my knees praying for patience and energy!  I notice a HUGE difference as soon as I start this.  Then I ask my friends for help.  I have a friend who takes the girls while I take Brecken to therapy so I can 100% work with him and his therapists.  I have her take the younger ones while I take Taylor to dance so I can focus on her and do some homework.  She picks up my son from school once a week and keeps him all day so I can go to my Bible Study and keep up with the work and have a Bailey day.  I have another friend who brings us dinner once a week just to help me out.  I stopped feeling bad because I needed help! 

Now these women to me are supermoms!  They have shown me that just by showing the love of Christ to me that they are raising some amazing kids in the mean time and also showing myself and my kids how to treat people:) 

So do I have to do all and be all?  Nope.  Do I still compare myself to other moms.  Yes.  Although I stop myself and tell myself that I am doing fine:)  My kids are good kids and as long as I keep looking up instead of around, I will not be supermom but I do know where to point my kids to get their Super dad.  Up:)

Prayer Requests:)

Oh so much going on.  First Bailey should be getting her labs back any day to figure out what is going on.  We are hoping it is nothing but it would be nice to know why she is doing what she is doing. 

They are going to start Brecken on eating lunch at therapy.  Also they would like to do a swallow test to make sure his facial muscles are getting stronger.  He has never had a problem eating before so he should be good. 

Baby is all good and I am about 12 weeks but this is where we have the bleeding issues normally.  Pray we do not have any of those problems!  We lost baby #2 due to the bleeding and Breckens CP was caused by a blood clot and I had a lot of bleeding with Bailey and they had told me we lost her too. 

Taylor is doing great but I think she is feeling a little left out with me being pregnant and dealing with Breckens therapies and Bailey being so little still.  Pray daddy and I can show her how much we love her and appreciate what a big girl she is!  We will be trying to take that girl to Disneyland for her birthday!  Well I think that is it for now:)  Thanks:)

The Myths of Sign Language and Speaking Devices

So Brecken is dong GREAT on his signing and his speaking machine.  We obviously have people who comment on if he does this stuff he will not talk.  So I decided to write a quick quip on that being a complete myth.  As humans we be LAZY!  Learning to sign with your hands and figure out a machine to talk for you by looking for pictures and pushing is a lot harder then just saying the words so actually if a child wants to get his or her lazy on, talking is the way to go.  I have found signing and that machine are A LOT harder then just saying a word.  Research also shows that kids who sign actually have a wider vocabulary once they start talking and are much more intelligent speakers.  Plus the strength in their hands are better being that they are using muscles that us normal people do not use.  The speaking machine that people think may make my son lazy actually will help him learn to talk.  The repetitive speaking of the word will help him to hear it and copy the sounds.  I have had multiple speech therapists tell us (all of his have agreed) that it is the opposite of what people think and that it actually helps not hinders.  As a tiny bit of proof my 19 month old learned sign first from just watching us teach Brecken.  She signed everything and her and Brecken sign to each other all the time however she speaks to us.  She does have conversations in sign with Brecken but with us she does vocally speak. Also keep in mind that my 19 month old daughter can now speak 2 languages:)  ASL is an actual language so she is considered bilingual with the rest of us:)  I too used to think that signing was going to make my kids fall behind and that they would not speak on time.  Let me tell you the first thing to do before making this assumption is to get educated!  Most people who make these false assumptions are just not educated on the subject whatsoever.  First get educated and then realize that these things are to help!  Not hurt.